Thicker than Water (Marauders Era)

21 June, 1992 - Decisions (III)

Kings Cross Station was predictably crowded when the red Hogwarts Express eased to a stop at platform nine and three quarters and began disembarking. Lavinia and the other parents, siblings and various others charged, as she was, with picking up students, waited outside in the muggle world for their charges to come slowly through the barrier so as to avoid massive crowds disappearing and springing up out of seemingly nowhere.

Lavinia, for her part, waited rather impatiently, her eyes scanning the crowd around her while also keeping an eye on the small groups of students periodically emerging from the hidden platform. Her purpose here was two fold, really. One the surface of it all, she was here to pick up Jasmine because Heather was on shift and, though she was highly annoyed about the situation, there was simply nothing that could be done about it. Isaac Brooks was out of the country for his day off and Lavinia and Elias were already scheduled for the day. And since Heather was technically still just a trainee, she wasn't able to do the morning or night shift on her own. So she had been stuck with the middle shift and Lavinia had insisted that it was absolutely no trouble at all for her to pick Jasmine up and promised she would make sure the girl knew that Heather very much wanted to be there.

So now she was here, looking for Jasmine's honey colored and usually unkempt mop of hair emerging from the platform.

But the other reason she was here very much had to do with the conversation she'd had with Dumbledore only a week or so ago and the decision she knew she needed to make. And this would be the day to make it. This would be the moment. Because when she saw the messy black hair, when she saw who he went to to take him home... she would have to pick. She could walk up and do what she had wanted to for some time now or she could keep her distance and keep him safe. And she still hadn't made up her mind. She should have. In the week since she'd spoken to Dumbledore, she should have thought about this. Should have chosen. But she hadn't. She had pushed it out of her mind with a near desperate force and now she stood here. Utterly unprepared.

And indeed, when Harry Potter emerged from the brick wall dividing the muggle portion of the station from the magical platform, Lavinia found herself still shocked still by the sight of him. But of course, it was better than it had been those past few times because she had braced herself for this. Had known this was coming. Had spent the entire long wait as the crowd thinned and people left with their children preparing herself for this.

What she hadn't at all been prepared for was seeing Harry and the two other students he was with make a bee line for a plump red haired woman and her little daughter who seemed thoroughly over excited by the sight of Harry Potter.

And he greeted her. Warmly. Fondly. And thanked her for gifts. And it was stupid and selfish, but Lavinia felt a pit opening up in her stomach because it should have been her. He should have been greeting her like that. She should have been the one giving him gifts. And the worst part was that she knew it was her fault that it wasn't. It was her fault so many times over, but the jealousy still bloomed, quiet and tight in her core as she watched, that envy like a living beast curling its claws around her throat until it became hard to breath.

It should have been her.

And it wasn't. Because of stupid awful words she had spoken during some of the worst days of her life. So it wasn't her. It would never be her.

Her fault.

As she watched, hardly even aware of the fact that she was staring at complete strangers, a family approached who were very clearly not wizards. The approaching threesome was led by a rather squat man followed by his tall, bony wife whose face was so similar to Lily's that Lavinia was left in no doubt at all who this couple and their large, terrified looking son were. Harry's aunt and uncle and cousin. His family.