Women ✓ j.jk

Chapter 52 : Because Of Me

Tonight is my flight back to Seattle. Carrying a huge and heavy suitcase of emotions with me, I decided that I need to go back. Not only because I'm neglecting my studies, but also the promise I made to Yoongi.

I still can't believe how he knew everything all along. "Mom! Dad! I'm going!" I called from the living room. My parents hurriedly went downstairs and rushed over to me.

"Do you have everything you need already?" My mom asked and I nodded at her as an answer. Dad got his car keys in the drawer and we were ready to go.

As I got out of the house, I glanced over to my left and took a quick look at the Jeon's house. There are no lights inside, no one is at home.

That used to be my home for weeks  and now, I don't even want to look at it. Good and bad memories, shame and guilt, lies, and facts are all that I remember whenever I look at it. Whenever I look at anything related to him. "Deanna, let's go!" My dad called, popping my thought bubble.

I continued walking towards our car and ignored the thoughts rumbling inside my head once more.

=====

I'm at the airport waiting for my flight to be announced with my mom and dad. They refused to leave me here alone when I clearly said that I can manage myself.

While sitting in the lounge and waiting for my flight number, a phone suddenly vibrates inside the pocket of my coat and an unknown number was calling.

Seeing that my parents are busy having a conversation, I discreetly fled away behind a post. "Hello?" I answered the call.

"Deonne! Why aren't you answering my calls?"

"Jungkook?" I squeaked.

"I told you I'd give you time to think but not this way." He breathed. It seems like he was out of breath. Was he running? What is happening?

"Is something wrong?" I worriedly asked.

"You did not attend your classes. I asked for your dorm's number in the registrar's office but they say that they're not allowed to give information about that," He blurted out. "Then, earlier Yoongi told me he saw you in Vancouver. Are you ignoring me, Deonne? Please, I'll take it back if y-"

"Jungkook, breathe." Why is he panicking? I heard him took a deep breath. "I'm going back, just wait for me." With that, I abruptly ended up the call and blocked the number, again.

I sighed as I return to my seat and I was glad when my parents didn't notice me gone. Fifteen minutes before my flight, the announcement was made and I said goodbye to my parents.

It's eight-thirty in the evening and since it's only an hour-long flight, I'll arrive at Seattle in no time.

During the entire flight, I was thankful that I fell asleep. At least for a couple of minutes, my mind rested.

I used a cab to arrive at the university dorm building and to my surprise, I saw Jungkook sitting and asleep outside the entrance of the building. "What happened to him?" I asked the guard standing next to him. I kneeled down to look at him and sighed when I saw that he is fine.

"He keeps asking people for a guy named Deonne earlier. I also received complaints from students at the male dormitories that he has been knocking their doors repeatedly, looking for that guy." He informed. "How about you? Do you know who he is looking for?"

"He's looking for me," I answered sadly. I gently tapped Jungkook's cheek to wake him up. "Hey, Jungkook I'm here. Get up." I softly enunciated.

"Deonne?" His eyes opened wider when he saw my face. He stands up on his feet and I did the same. "Let's talk," He pulled me inside the building and I let him do what he wants.

He led me into the male dormitories and we both entered a room. Probably, he and his friends' dorm. "We're talking here?" I asked. "Where are your friends?"

"They're out partying," For one second there, I saw vulnerability, but now he is fuming mad. "Why did you went to Vancouver without telling me?"

"Why? It's not like I had to ask permission from you." My forehead furrows.

"You made me worried, Deonne! I was panicking for three days, you're not even picking up my calls!"

"You told me to think it through, and that's what I did."

"No, it seems like you wanted to cut ties from me." He is on the verge of crying. It has been a long time since I saw him in this state again.

"No, why are you thinking like that!" I exclaimed after putting my bag on a chair. "I needed time to think without you interfering."

"Think of it, Deonne. I never had any relationship with women because all my life I was afraid of them while you, on the other hand, had one."

"And the point?" I'm confused about what he is pertaining to.

"Hell, I never had a gender crisis before, not until you but if I'm gay because of you then I don't care what the world has to tell me about it. I'd be gay for you, only you, Deonne."

Jungkook, no... You're not.

"But if you're straight, then fine! I accept it, just, please... Don't walk away from me ever again." He holds both sides of my shoulder, squeezing it. "Please, I'm already puzzled about all of these." He begged.

"You know I love you, right?" Asked Jungkook. I nod at him with blurry eyes and a painful look. "And I will respect it if you don't feel the same about me because it's normal, you're normal."

My eyes can't take it anymore and I cried with him. This is all my fault, he thinks he is different because of me. He is having difficulty in identifying his true nature because of me. He is suffering emotionally because of me.

All because of me.

I can't imagine how painful it will be for him once he knew that I'm different from the person that he knows.

That I'm a woman and not a man.

Since I'm out of words to express what I'm feeling, all I did was to hug him tightly. "I'm sorry if you're feeling this way because of me." I apologized.

"It's okay, don't worry." He gently taps my back. Shortly after that, I break away from the hug and stare at his puffy eyes.

"At least now I know what to do. Since we're just friends, again." He managed to fake a laugh.

But I don't want to be just friends. He loves me, and I love him too. Can't we just give it a try? There are hundreds of factor that it will work. I wish it will work.

"Then we could go hiking again, just the two of us, although you hate it I'll insist. We can watch funny movies again, just like that movie with Rebel Wilson. Or we can-"

I cut him off in a way he didn't expect. I just closed my eyes and wait for him to return it.

After a few seconds, he kissed me back.