Blazing: An Avatar AU

Chapter Twenty-Three

"Are you going to open the envelope?" Zuko asked me.

I sighed, "I don't know. Maybe. We have more important things to worry about right now, let's go."

Iroh looked at us, "Go where?"

"Let's find somewhere to stay first. Like a hotel room, or something, it's late, I'm tired."

We found a hotel and got a room for the night. We ordered room service and went to sleep.

***

I stretched and heaved myself off the bed, Zuko and Iroh were still asleep. In their defense, it was  10 AM, and the past few days had been stressful. I walked over to a small desk in the room, and I went into the drawer and took out the envelope. 

I was shaking. I knew I had to open it. I needed closure. I needed something. My father and I had a terrible relationship, that's never going to change, but maybe... maybe something in here will make me feel better.

I ripped open the envelope. A letter fell out, as well as a photograph and a gold necklace. I picked up the photograph. It was a picture of my father holding me as a baby. His eyes didn't hold the scary glint I remembered. I picked up the letter and started reading.

Dear (Y/N),

Well, if you're reading this, I'm probably dead. You're probably happy about that... Listen. I know I've been a pretty shitty father, I doubt I should even call myself your father. I know you think it's because you're a waterbender or half watertribe, but that's not it. It's operant conditioning, you know. If you saw there was a consequence for your waterbending, you wouldn't waterbend. If Ozai found out about your waterbending, hell would break loose. It was better to have you hate me than have you get killed, or imprisoned by your own nation. I pushed you in firebending because I needed you to be strong. Not like your mother, and if I'm dead, then not like me. The weak die. That's just how life works.

I really hope you're reading this with me right now, but with my profession...  I doubt that. Listen, the point of this is simple. 

I'm sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I am. 

I love you (Y/N). Even if I never told you, it's true.

Your father, 

General Seizo

I didn't know how to feel about this. But honestly? I was angry. My hand lit the paper on fire, incinerating it. 

I needed some air. I grabbed the debit card, wrote a small note to Zuko and Iroh saying I'd be back, and left the hotel room. 

I walked on the sidewalks, wind beating against my face. I felt my eyes tear up. 

I love you (Y/N). Even if I never told you, it's true.

No! He doesn't get to do that! He doesn't get to make me feel like shit my whole life and then... No. It isn't fair!

Years of torture, of feeling like I wasn't good enough, of feeling like my own father hated me, and then I get this shit? Absolutely not.

I found a mall and walked inside. I probably looked like a crazy person so I went to buy some clothes. I bought myself two simple crop tops (one red, one white), an oversized black shirt, a hoodie, a pair of leggings, and two pairs of sweatpants. I bought Zuko like three pairs of sweatpants and some fitted shirts, the things he usually wears. For Iroh, I got some neutral-colored shirts and some trousers. Not a lot. We had to pack light, we didn't really have the luxury of staying in one place for long periods of time.  I also got us all jackets, in case it gets cold. I bought three backpacks, one for myself, one for Zuko, and one for Iroh. Mine was red, Zuko's was black, and Iroh's was white.