When the Camellia blooms

Camellia Blooms - SIXTY-TWO

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All this time, I knew I was living the dream I've been dreaming of.

I had noticed it, the truth was in front of me  but I didn't want to see it.  I'm a coward and I'm afraid of the truth.

Now that I've been awaken in my dream I think I'll be sad again.

To think that the life that I was living, the life that I was thankful for is a lie.

A lie created by none other than me.

I think I wanted to dream more after all in dreams, we would achieve anything we wanted, anything we aspire to be.

Memories and pain will be gone in our dreams.

All along I've been fooling myself thinking that this is my life when all along it was just a dream.

Just a dream.

...

I could feel my heavy eyelids trying to open up but it was too hard. It felt like my body was hit by a truck and I couldn't even open my eyes.

After so many tries, I finally opened both of my eyes and glared at the blinding lights. My eyes wander through the white neat room, I saw my hand on a dextrose and a small table on my right and before I knew it, somebody opened the door.

I could hear the constant shuffling and different voices on the room, they seem to be panicking judging by their facial expressions and tone.

Before I knew it, I was greeted by the sight of a very familiar man. His eyes were red and a hint of fear was seen on his face as he observed me from toe to head.

"Yuu" I whispered with my hoarse throat, feeling a bit parched.

He brought a glass of water and I drank like I've been thirsty for a long time. He put it on the table on my left and looked at me.

His eyes were always intense, too focused on my existence and I never thought of anything wrong behind his gaze.

I never thought that he would like me.

Never thought that he would still love the me right now.

The pessimistic, gloomy and cold person.

"Callia" he said with a low hum, his eyes were still dark with that familiar emotion that I thought I would never feel again.

Sadness.

Before he could say anything more, I passed out. I tried to open my eyes but I still can't, I just feel too weak.

...

After a long time, I finally opened my eyes and automatically saw my parents on my left. I immediately teared up and as soon as I tried to stop the sob from leaking out, my father's eyes went into mine.

"C-callia? My...my daughter...My Ah'Xu" he was calling for me with tears in his eyes, the pain on his voice was too apparent I was tearing up again.

My mother pushed my father near me and he immediately held my hand so tight. His eyes were red and he looks like he lost some weight, looking at my mother's side, she too loses weight and seem to be crying.

My mother is crying?

For me?

"Callia, my daughter...you finally woke up" he said then he hugged me, I leaned into his embrace and cried with him.

I couldn't control the pain in my chest and it bursted out like a dam. My mother on the other side was restraining her tears but I pulled on her sleeve.

"Ma..."

It was just an utter, a sound that I've said a lot of times in my childhood and in my dreams.

She clasped my hand and hugged both me and father. She was finally voicing her pain as I patted her back.

"I thought you-you...I thought..." She was repeating her words, caught up on her cries as she wiped her tears.

I would never think that my mother would cry like this, for me. She was the person who always stood straight, her eyes cold and tone harsh.

She always looked at me with disappointment but now, all I could see in her eyes is love.

"I'm sorry ma...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry pa" I cried to them as my father wiped my tears.

"Don't say that...you didn't do anything wrong...it's us who wronged you" he said with a heavy tone making me shook my head in panick.

"It's not you...I was...I was at fault here. I shouldn't have...shouldn't have followed him....you wouldn't have.....have become like this if it wasn't f-for me!"

I knew it was my fault my father cannot walk anymore.

It was my fault that my mother needs to be cold so she can fight against our greedy relatives.

It's my fault.

We cried again for the second time and soon the regret, the pain, sorrow and disappointment has vanished along with our cries.

I would never think that I could see my father again.

And I would never think that I would get to hug my mother again.

Now, it feels like a dream, but I know that it's not.

It's not a dream anymore.

***
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