Hermitcraft oneshots and other hermit things (Hiatus)

Cards against humanity (oneshot/ AU)

Y'all are gonna hate how much fluff I'm going to drop on you as my online school comes to an end! So enjoy wherever the fuck this

I'm saying if you an innocent bean you may wanna skip this.... but this is how this idea came up..
My brain: hey what if some of the hermits played cards against humanity.
Me: I'm interested but how the fuck do I write that
My brain: I dunno figure it out.

Trigger warnings: dirty jokes, vulgar language, very very inappropriate for incident minds.

3ed person POV:

Zedaph, Impulse, and Tango were sitting in Zedaph's Cave of contraptions for their annual game night. The three each brought a bunch of card games and board games. This time they asked some of the other couples if they would like to join as kinda like multiple dates. The others that would be joining the three were Ren/Doc, Cub/Scar, and Iskall/Stress.

Zedaph decided a good game to bring would be Cards Against Humanity. Tango and Impulse were excited  about this one. As were Ren, Doc, and Cub. Iskall wasn't as excited as the others but was interested. Scar and stress on the other hand weren't as excited they were a little nervous to play such an inappropriate game but still played non the less, they were there to have fun after all.

The dishes out the white cards, ten each, and they decided Scar would be drawing the first back card.... " Having Problems with _________, try____________"
Every one placed their cards and scar read them out loud... one set of cards stuck out to him in a different way. "Having Problems with Mufasa's death scene, try hakuna mattatata motherfucker!" Scar being the Disney fanatic he is this touched a little to close for home. He saw doc cracking up at it. "Ok who's was this!?"
Doc raises his hand still cackling.
"Take your black card... That was a good one." Scar said slightly smiling

Next person to read a black card was Ren.
"And the academy award for ___________, goes to ____________."
Once again everyone placed their cards down and Ren read them aloud.
"And the academy award for passive aggressive post it notes, goes to Bill Nye the science guy.
"And the academy award for natural selection, goes to your weird brother."
"And the academy award for dying, goes to the Jews." Every one turned and looked at Doc.
" hey man I didn't place those I swear!"
"And the academy award for racism, goes to white people."
"And the academy award for true loves kiss, goes to the Russians."
"And the academy award for licking things to claim them as your own, goes to a sobering quantity of chili cheese fries."
" and the academy award for a gay sorcerer who turns every one gay, goes to the only gay person in a hundred miles."
"Uhh do I have to read this one out loud...?" Ren asked with concern.
"Yep" every one agreed. Rena face went almost pink reading this
"And the academy award for three dicks at the same time, goes to .... I really don't want to read this but ok... my sex life." Rens face was bright red at this while the rest of the table was cracking up, well except stress she was face palming. " ok who's ever that last one was take your damn card, you got me there..." iskall slowly reached over the table grabbing the black card. Stress looked at him like seriously that was you.

And now it was Docs turn to read a black card
He read it out loud
"What's that sound?" The others looked at their cards before each placing one down on the table for doc to read. Almost every one even stress had an evil look on their face as they placed their cards down.
Doc read the card again but with every ones answers.
"What's that sound? Inappropriate yodeling, silence, a disappointing birthday party, explosions, a bitch slap, a bop-it, poor life choices, ..... or German dungeon porn.... what the actual fuck guys!" Doc said almost in tears from laughing
"Who ever placed that last one take your fucking card!" Doc managed to say in between breaths. And ever so quietly Stress leaned over the table and grabbed the black card. Everyone's jaws dropped, at the fact that Stress the most innocent hermit besides scar would place such a card ever. Iskall spoke up quietly
"What the fuck... you-you placed that..? Who are you and what did you do with my Stress!"
Stress chuckled. " don't worry love it's just a silly game."

About 700 words.
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So I had a little bit of fun writing this. Please let me know if I should continue this as like an AU just until each one has had one turn or something I Promis I wouldn't make it too long...

But for now, Keep swimming my little fishies!
      Best regards,
           SharkBait.