FOREVER AND ALWAYS ━━━━ jasper hale.

33- Not Now

"Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace."

-Jonathon Lockwood Huie

***

It was Emmett who ended up picking us up. My entire posture went rigid when the oh-so familiar jeep pulled up in my driveway. I didn't speak, but turned to give Sadie a wide-eyed look. She gave me a "calm the hell down" face. I took a deep breath, and then walked out the front door.

"Jesus Christ!"

Okay, so Emmett was exactly the same.

He bounded over like an over-excited puppy, stopping right before crushing me. He grinned down tentatively, and I hung my head back, a loud laugh bubbled from my throat. Come on! It's Emmett! They sent the one person they knew I couldn't be mad at. I should have known.

"Come here, Emily!" I cried, and he whooped gleefully, bending down to hug me so tight I though my lungs would burst. Tears came to my eyes, happy tears, as Emmett picked me up and spun me around like the try-hard he is.

"I missed you!"I exclaimed, burying my face in his muscular chest.

"I missed you too!"

"I kind of missed myself."

Emmett laughed loudly, running over to engulf Sadie in a similar embrace. They pulled apart as Sadie playfully winked. "Lookin' hot."

"Feelin' hot."

"Speaking of hot. We need to go to the airport to make sure Edward didn't kill himself."

Emmett's face turned grave, as we all walked over to the jeep. "His emo ass is totally gonna get kicked when they come back."

"How hot is it in Italy?" Sadie asked as we both climbed into the back, neither of us wanting to be in the front. We know how Emmett drives. I shrugged, clipping myself in. "Hot. We had a lesson about their economy once, and-"

"Yeah like the global economy is something I care about." She rolled her eyes, grabbing the seat as the car jerked to life. "Damn, Emmett we know you can't die in a car crash but we can so calm the hell down!"

"Sorry." He mumbled, although he didn't ease up in the slightest.

My mind was buzzing. I was going to see Jasper again. There is two ways that can go. 1. Good. 2. I will physically assault someone.

Let's hope it's the first.

***

I have always hated airports. They remind me of my childhood.

Sadie began singing the periodic table element song to keep her nerves in check, and I occasionally pitched in. When I did, my voice was high and shaky. I felt like someone who drank coffee mixed with cocaine and plain vodka.

Minutes from death.

"They're at gate 67-" Emmett scrunched up his face at his phone. "What the hell does that mean? I don't come to airports for a reason."

"You've never been in an airport?" Sadie asked, taking a break when she was halfway done. "Aren't you like, a million years old?"

"No!" Emmett looked genuinely offended, turning a corner. "So this is 64, I see them!"

We both squinted, but all I could see was a large crowd. "Not all of us have super-sight, Em."

"Right." He sighed, like it was annoying we couldn't see into Europe. "Okay, someone will probably run into you soon."

"What the hell does-" My sentence was cut off when I was engulfed in a hug by someone I couldn't see. Cinnamon invaded my senses, and I relaxed for a split second, before jerking back to reality.

"Hey-" I pushed off the vampire, and the sight of Jasper's face made my knee's buckle. He looked... so familiar. Pale, blonde, perfect. He was mine. But did that change?

"You-" All of my words suddenly were yanked from my throat. I wasn't mad. I wanted so badly to be mad. I wanted to feel like I did that day in La Push. "Are you manipulating me?"

"No."

"You responded way to fast."

Jasper's shoulder's relaxed slightly, but I still didn't feel mad. I don't think he was doing it. I think that the speech I made on the beach was true. I think I realized that I don't have to be mad. I feel what I feel. I don't need to always be mad.

"What happened to Forever and Always?"

My voice came out as no more then a whisper, but I knew he heard it. His face softened and his lips parted slightly.

"What happened to I'll never let you go? What happened to all of your big dreams and happy endings?"

The entire airport seemed to quiet, everything seemed to move in slow motion, like reality was cutting through water, and all there was was Jasper Hale and I.

"I never lied to you." He whispered in his Southern Accent. It was getting stronger as he was talking, and I fought a small grin slip onto my face. His nervous habit. Even being a vampire can't hide nervous habits. "Everything I said was true, and that's why I had to leave."

"You didn't even say goodbye."

"I couldn't!" He cried, ruffling his hair. "I knew that if I did, I wouldn't be able to go."

"You don't know how much that hurt."

"I do." It sounded more like, Eh Dew. "I usually wouldn't say that... but I understand, I really understand."

He took my hand in his and pressed his forehead onto it. The cold feeling of his skin was so familiar it caused me physical pain. Maybe that was part of the vampire mate thing. It actually causes a burning pain in your chest when you want so badly to be with them, but don't know if you can. Like a wound being cauterized. Hurts like hell, but stops the bleeding.

"I love you. Forever and Always. You can stay, or you can turn around and walk away and I wouldn't blame you for anything."

I turned my head, catching Esme's eyes. She grinned, her amber orbs glittering. a true smile, a true look of adoration that I never got from my mom. My mom says I love you because it is expected. But Esme doesn't even need to say it, because it is already there, in her eyes. A glimmer of hope and love in a world as cruel and unforgiving in this world. Forgive others to bring yourself peace. I will never be able to live my life if I don't forgive the Cullen's.

I sighed deeply, running my hands over my face. "You goddamn idiot." I mumbled, before grabbing the front of his shirt and lifting my lips to capture his.