HIM OR ME ✓

Chapter 65

~~~I'm no longer afraid of love, but I'm afraid of not being loved back~~~

Y/N's POV:

I search for his face in the crowd of elegant men and women dressed up for this beautiful engagement party. It was just how I imagined. Children running around the decorated garden with small flowers in their hands. Their mothers complimenting each other's floral dressed with white tea cups in their hands. Mr. Jeon wanted a bigger party, but I insist to host a small engagement party at a private garden owned by Mr. Jeon. I don't want medias and paparazzi to barge into our party and send news everywhere around the world about two CEOs getting married.

Everyone smiled as soon as I meet their gazes. I smiled back, but it was completely a fake one.

He was nowhere to be found. I don't think he even come. Maybe he has more important business matters, but it somehow angers me that he can't come and see me.

I turn around to meet Jungkook offering his hands to interlace with mine. I did it gracefully as people started to look at our interaction. Am I supposed to act like I'm in love? Can I still pretend?

"You don't like the party?" He quietly whispered as I slowly shook my head. It's not the party that was bothering me. It was Taehyung's absence.

"I-I have to make an announcement. May I?" I asked him, partly begging him to allow me to confess. I don't want to confess my feelings without Tae, but I have to because I knew I can't marry my bestfriend when I'm in love with him.

"Sure. What is it about? You never told me about it," Jungkook slightly scratch the back of his neck as he passed me a nearby microphone.

As soon as I hold the microphone in my hands, I feel the power. I feel the need to tell everyone and apologize for disappointing them, especially Mr. Jeon. I started to feel millions of gazes on me as they wait for me to announce.

"Good evening, everyone. It's nice to see your lovely faces on such a beautiful day. I'm sure everyone is happy about the upcoming wedding, except one person." I sighed as they all gasped dramatically. Rich people are very dramatic sometimes, especially the ladies holding their husband's hands.

"Who?" Someone asked from a table near me. She seems to be very close to Mr. Jeon because she sit right beside him. Mrs. Jeon went on a business trip so she couldn't attend.

"Me. The fiancé." I look at everyone's frowns as they started to look at me in disbelief. "I'm sorry to disappoint each and everyone one of you. But I don't want my best friend to have an unhappy marriage with me, knowing that his wife is in love with someone else. The person I realized I love enters my life out of nowhere and suddenly becomes the world for me. I know it sounds cheesy and I don't say those sweet things, but I really mean it. You don't have to know who he is, or where he is. I don't even know whether he feel the same," I chuckled painfully as I started to feel the pity stares.

"But I want to try. I want to give a shot, knowing that he's worth all of my time." I slightly turn around to see Hoseok smiling at me. He give me a quick nod as he started to tear up. I'm his little grown up sister. "And that's why I want to tell you all the truth. I can't marry Jungkook. He deserves to marry someone that loves him. I try to love him, but I can't. I'm sorry to disappoint you, Mr. Jeon," I turn around to see the old man shaking his head rapidly.

"It's better to disappoint you before the marriage then after. I hope you all understand my situation." I sighed as I turn around to face Jungkook, but he wasn't beside me anymore.

Before I rush out to find Jungkook, Hoseok stopped me.

"I was looking for you. Somebody send you this and I think you should see this," Hoseok gave me a purple ring box with a white letter.

I opened the ring box to see a familiar ring. Isn't this Taehyung's father's ring? The one Taehyung treasured the most? He was yelling at me for even touching it. Why is he giving me this?

I quickly open the letter:

Dear Y/N (winter-bear),

I'm sorry I can't make it to your engagement party. An important business meeting came up. Anyways, I know its ridiculous to give you a man ring but I just want you to know that you mean a lot to me. You mean as much as the ring means to me. The ring is the only thing I have related to love. My father's love. And I didn't understand what love was until I met you. Love is actually confusing and bitter. But it's also sweet and warm at the same time. You explain what love is to me. You show me that love can hurt you sometimes. Your love for Jungkook is admirable and I even envy him for having someone that loves him no matter what. But it doesn't matter. I just want you to know that you are meant to be loved, so don't ever doubt yourself. You are beautiful, confident, and strong. You don't know this, but you had become my role-model during the past few months. You motivate me to work harder with passions and enthusiasms. You make me realize that love is more giving than taking. I hope you enjoy my gift and I also wish a happy journey for you and Jungkook. You are going to be an amazing wife.

Yours only,

Kim Taehyung

I hold the letter against my chest as I started to sob. Does he not want me to be with him? Does he not feel the same? Does he not want to hear my confession? Has he already given up on me?

"Go to him, Y/N. Jungkook need some time so leave him alone. Right now, you have to go meet Taehyung." Hoseok urges as I quickly got out of the party to meet my one and only Kim Taehyung.

TO BE CONTINUED......