More Than Life Itself

Rough Beginnings

Author's Note----Welcome to the book! Hope you enjoy it! 

Edit: 9/18/20: I just wanted to send a big ass thank you to all of those who have or are reading, voting, commenting, sharing, and/or adding this book to their reading lists. It has been amazing to watch this books reads and votes rise in a way I never thought possible. I truly hope you loved or will love this story. Thank you once again! --DustyBooks16

Eislyn's P.O.V.

I feel a sting against my face. It's not the first time I've felt it, but I always want it to be the last. 

I look deep into my mother's eyes. I want her to stop the torture that she's been using on me for a couple months now. It's been the worst months of my life, but I'm getting used to the pain. I never thought my mother would be the one to cause me this much pain, but there's nothing I can do. I'm only six. A six year old with no defense mechanisms and an abusive mother. 

I've never really known my father. He had been in and out of my life until I was about four, so I don't remember him very well. My mother doesn't talk about him either. He's one of the forbidden topics of the household. Along with love, running away, school, and going out of the house. I feel like Rapunzel, trapped in my house with a woman I'm supposed to trust.

I try to focus on other things when my mother hits or cuts me. Instead of watching her break her newly empty wine glass to cut my arms with, I focus on freedom. I like to think about an empty flowery meadow, the birds singing in the trees, the sun (which I haven't felt for what feels like forever) shining on my face. I think about what it would be like to have friends and dance freely around the yard. 

They are all dreams though. My mother says dreams never come true. At least, not for girls like me. Whatever that means. I remember when I used stereotypically dream of being a ballerina or a princess. I wanted my knight on a white horse to sweep me off my feet, and together we would ride into the sunset.

But those silly dreams don't exist anymore. Those silly dreams will never come true. 

As a six year old, I already know that knights in shining armor don't really sweep you off your feet. They pretend to and leave, just like my dad did. At least, that's what my mother says. That's what I tell her when she asks. However, when I close my eyes, I can see my dad. He's always reaching out for me; he wants me to come with him. 

I want to go with him too. Anyone, including him, would be better than this. I think my father would at least try to love me. My mother doesn't care. She's the one that hurts me the most. 

"Are you even listening to me, brat?"

"Yes, ma'am."

I did actually hear it. I taught myself to listen to whatever my mother is saying even as I daydream. 

"What did I say?!"

"I'm worthless, useless. I'm a mistake."

My mother's eyes twinkle at my answer. With another cut down my shin, a disgusting smile spreads over her lips. I can smell blood in the air, and I know it's mine. Whose else would it be?

She's right though. I'm worthless and useless, and I am a mistake.