Affair Play (Camila/You)

Chapter 61

It was dark when I let myself in, I walked a couple of the stairs trying to find any sign of her but I didn't call her name. I was just grateful to be back in the house, too frightened to make any noise. She'd put the phone down as soon as she spoke, leaving me with no idea what I was walking into but I had to come back. I'd do anything to make this right.

I grabbed a beer from the kitchen, I really wanted a whiskey but feared once I began, I wouldn't be able to stop. The hell I was feeling completely consumed me and contained everything, guilt, shame, embarrassment, injustice. I needed to swallow all this before I saw her, how she's feeling has to be my main priority right now, not just for Mila but also for our baby.

I could see the little lamp glowing on the side table in the lounge, at first I thought she was asleep because the telly was off but her big, brown and bloodshot eyes stared back at me.

"Y/NN. That was quick, I wasn't expecting..." She trailed off and quickly sat up on the sofa, pulling the blankets around her.

The obvious discomfort she displayed made me back away instinctively. It felt so strange, when we'd fought before the whole problem revolved around us not being able to keep our hands off each other, now all I could sense was how she couldn't have me near her.

"I was in the garage. I know I said I'd stay away, I just wanted to be close in case anything happened."

"You don't have to apologise for being in your own house." Her head hung to the floor, she couldn't look at me.

"No, maybe not but I do need to apologise. I've been thinking this whole time about what I can say to you but nothing I can say will make this better. I'm so sorry Camila. I'm sorry this happened, I'm sorry you had to see me like that and I'm the most sorry if this has changed your perception of me. I love you and that won't change regardless of what you decide to do."

"We need a new bed."

I wasn't sure I heard that right so I crouched down in front of her, I didn't want to stand and intimidate her while she was sat but I had to be close to her, I couldn't help it.

"Cam's?"

"I'm sorry too, I should have believed you when you said you didn't cheat on me."

"But how-"

"The date and time's on the video if you look
Y/NN, why didn't you tell me it was that night?" Finally she looked up at me, those wet brown eyes meeting mine. All I wanted to do was pick her up in my arms and tell her everything would be ok but I was too afraid of the rejection right now, I'd had a healthy dose of that earlier and it felt awful.

"I haven't seen it. I know around what time it would have been but that's no excuse, I don't remember anything ever being filmed Cam's, that's not me."

"I know." Her small hand landed on top of mine. One touch from her and I began to feel comfortable in my own skin again. "It's not you in the video. Well, it is you obviously, you but not my you."

"I'm so sorry baby." I tried not to but the tears were rolling down my cheeks. I was so relieved she could at least see in some small way that I never meant any malice or harm to us, hell when this was filmed I didn't even think there was an 'us.'

"Come here." She pulled me down onto the sofa and held me against her chest. My hand not confident enough to roam over anything else but our baby.

We stayed like that for the longest time, it was so soothing. Her fingers travelled through my hair, massaging my scalp while my head rose every time she took a breath. Quietly I let it all out, all the monster emotions I'd been feeling through the day we're just falling from my eyes.