𝗠𝗲𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗧𝗼 𝗕𝗲 → 𝗞. 𝗔𝗸𝗮𝗮𝘀𝗵𝗶 [ 𝘾𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙙 ✔️]

[ 29 ] alone again

You laid beside Keiji, cuddling close to him. The sound of rain dripping onto your window and Keiji's heartbeat were the only two things you could hear.

It was like this almost every weekend — you and Keiji in bed, cuddling or watching a movie. He would spend the whole weekend with you to make up for not spending time with you during weekdays. Nationals was fast approaching thus the reason why he and the volleyball team had been practicing hard.

You and the journalism club have been busy as well. Since your sports article about the boys' volleyball team blew up around school, more students were eager to read and know about team. You thought this was great for them. They could use a bit of reconstruction in their gyms — maybe someone would be kind enough to sponsor the payments.

The eerie silence took over the atmosphere when you lifted your head from Keiji's chest. He wearily turned his head to face you. "Something wrong, baby?" He asked with a gentle smile on his face.

You sat up, gazing out the window. "You wouldn't lie to me, would you?"

Your question caught Akaashi off guard. He furrowed his eyebrows, mirroring your actions as he held your hand. "I would never. What made you ask that?" He raised an eyebrow in curiousity, but seeing your smile quickly calmed him down.

"I just wanted to make sure." You faced him, throwing your arms around his neck, hugging him. "You know I love you, Keiji."

"I love you, too."

-

You held your journal close to your chest, trying to process everything that's happened. Suna is in love with you. No matter how many times you tell that to yourself, it won't change Suna's feelings for you. And now, the journal you had lost 4 months ago was in your grasp — you found it in Keiji's bag. What does this mean? Was he the one that found it? Why didn't he give it to you?

Realization strikes at you, looking up to Keiji who was still arguing with Suna but you couldn't understand what they were saying. It was as if the amount of shock caused your ears to block off any sounds other than your pounding heartbeat. "Keiji.." You softly call out, trying to catch their attention.

The two were still bickering, their voices got louder but it left no effect on you. "K-Keiji!" You tried your best not to let your voice waver but it failed instantly.

Akaashi and Suna finally stopped their unending bickering, looking down at your form sitting on the ground. Akaashi's eyes widened when he saw what you were holding close to your chest.

"Was this all a lie?" Your eyes started to sting, creating teardrops which were now racing down your cheeks.

"Y/n let me expla—"

"WAS THIS ALL A LIE, KEIJI!?" You felt like you'd screamed from the top of your lungs. Your chest was becoming so heavy and it was getting harder to breathe. You waved the journal in the air.

"Were you messing with me? Knowing I had feelings for you?
Were you dissecting my every emotion? Were you just toying with me!?" Your sobs grew louder as you clutched your chest. "I don't even know what to believe anymore, Keiji.."

Akaashi couldn't say anything. He didn't know what to say, really. How could he have been so stupid bringing your journal with him? He had no excuses for this. It was true that his sole purpose for keeping your journal was to know you better from your own perspective. Now he knows that that was clearly a mistake. He should've gotten to know you personally, and not just take advantage of what was written on something personal to you.

"Y-You told me you'd never lie to me." Akaashi's eyes darted to your tear-filled ones, rushing to your side and grabbing your hands.

"Y/n, please if you just liste—"

"Go." Your voice was wavering from the tears that was continuously streaming down your face. You slapped Akaashi's hands away and pulled your knees to your chest, burying your face in it. "Just go."

Suna, being the protective person he is to you, stood up and dragged Akaashi to the door, as well as his things. "Leave." He ordered, turning his heel and walking back to you.

He crouched down to your level, wondering if it were presumptuous of him to comfort you like this despite you knowing about his feelings for you. Somewhere in his heart he believed that someday you'd reciprocate your feelings to him and not waste it on someone like Akaashi. But at the same time, he felt as if he were incompetent compared to Akaashi.

He put a hand on your shoulder, squeezing it lightly. "Was this the journal you told me went missing a few months ago?" You nod your head to his question. You didn't have the strength to answer.

You heard Suna sigh. He wrapped his arms around your delicate form. "I'm... sorry."

He was shocked when you suddenly pushed him away. Your eyes pierced through his, sending shivers down his spine. He's never seen you like this. "You should leave," you inhaled a sharp breath. "I don't feel comfortable right now. Please, I want to be alone."

Rintarou was seated in front of you, his palm on the floor supporting his weight. His other hand, vigorously wiping his eyes in attempt to not let the tears slip out. "I didn't want it to be this way," he whispered inaudibly. Looking up, he saw your frail expression. "Can I just be selfish for once?"

His question caught you off guard. What did he mean by that? His actions immediately backed his words up when he cupped your face and kissed you.

You didn't fight back. You didn't even kiss back.

You knew what heartbreak felt like, and you knew what you were feeling was completely different with what Suna was feeling. His soft lips felt warm and needy, as if he'd been wanting to do this for such a long time.

Separating his lips from yours, he bit his bottom lip, looking away. The pain in his chest was getting unbearable. He stood up, making his way to your room and quickly packing his stuff. Your position was still the same when he returned to the living room. He didn't bother going near you — it would just be harder for him not to leave.

He cleared his throat, trying not to let his voice waver. "Goodbye, Y/n." 

And then suddenly, you were alone again. Just like before.