99 ways to say I love you- Draco Malfoy

No.45

Never thought I would have to

She rubs at her already red and sensitive eyes. Trying to rid them of the left over tears as she reads over the letter.

Hi Freddie,
Thanks for the letter. I miss you too. I'm okay. Well, not really, but I will be. When I work out how to go a day without crying. I'm surprised Ron told you about the breakup, he's been entirely busy making out with Lavender as of late.

Draco seems okay. He's quiet, I hardly see him talk anymore. Even to his friends he seems reserved. I wonder if it's about me or something more pressing. Perhaps a mixture. I'm worried for him though. Life feels weird. I've gone from spending every night by his side to having not spoken in a month. I should probably go and collect my things but then it would all feel too real. It feels weird to say I'm suddenly planning my life without him in it. I never thought I would have to. I know it sounds like a lot, I'm only 16 and planning a life with someone yet here I am. Without him.

Anyway, I'm hoping my letter finds you feeling a little better. George mentioned you had a stomach bug when he wrote last. How did the date with the girl from the bookshop go?

Missing you, as always, and sending all my love to the both of you

- Emily x

She folds the letter and places it in the envelope she had addressed earlier before giving it to Hedwig, Harry had said she was free to use his owl whenever.

She exits the owlery and wonders the corridors. She doesn't want to return to the looks of pity from Hermione. Doesn't want to listen to Harry threaten to kill him for hurting her, despite it being good intentions. Doesn't want to watch Ron all happy in a relationship.

She's taken aback when she firsts sees Theo Nott. It had been a month since the breakup and his friends avoided her like the plague. She was even more shocked to see he is approaching her with a look of determination in his eyes.

"Emily, I need to talk to you," Theo states, a look of sympathy in his eyes that she had grown accustomed to.

"Yeah. Yeah okay," she agrees, allowing him to lead her into an empty class room. She wonders if he knows it was a class room her and Draco would frequently use to make out in back in fourth year.

"Look, I know Draco can be difficult and I'm sure your reasons for breaking up with him were more than valid. But he's my best friend and-"

"Theo I didn't break up with Draco. He broke up  with me,"

"What? Why? Look he's a mess without you. I can't get him to eat he barely speaks and I don't think he is sleeping,"

"I'm not much better, I want him of course I do. But Theo it's not my choice,"

"Will you talk to him? I know it's not fair to ask cause I'm sure your hurting too but he's my best friend and I'm really worried about him,"

"Yeah of course. I'll go tonight,"

"Thank you. I really hope you two can work this out. It was nice to see him happy,"

"Yeah. Me too,"

**

"Can't see him on the map. Harry your map is broken," Emily complains as she sits in an armchair in the gryffindor common room

"He'll be in the room of requirement. Doesn't show up on the map," Harry shrugs, going back to staring at Ginny as she snogs Dean Thomas.

"Harry! You're a genius! Never loved you so much!" Emily cheers, pressing a kiss to his cheek and jogging out of the room. Hermione watching her leave with a look of mild amusement.

When the door slams closed Draco swears he feels his heart stop. That is until he turns around and sees Emily in the doorway. In her excitement she's forgotten how awkward the whole situation is and as she stands under his intense gaze she seems to remember. Shifting her weight awkwardly from foot to foot.

"What're you doing here?" He questions, slamming the vanishing cabinet closed and stepping away from it.

"Theo asked me to speak to you, he's really worried,"

"Theo should mind his own business," Draco huffs. She sighs approaching and standing closer to him, close enough she can almost touch him and god does she want to just reach out and hold him. He looks tired and broken and he wants her to just hug him and make him feel whole again. He's too scared to ask and she's too awkward to offer. So they stand. Staring at each other.

"Draco, I know it's not going to be me but you should talk to someone,"

"I can't,"

"Angel, I'm worried about you. Please, promise me you will talk to someone," She urges. He nods and she sighs, not sure what else she can do and turns around to leave.

"I miss you," he almost doesn't say it but when she reaches the door he realises that watching her walk out of his life again is killing him more than anything else.

"I miss you," she responds quietly. "Stay safe,"