99 ways to say I love you- Draco Malfoy

No.89

She makes me feel alive

"I'll be back soon I'm just going to go and check in with the florist," Narcissa announces standing up and exiting the living room.

In her absence there's only two people in the room. Draco and Astoria. They rarely have a moment just the two of them. It feels awkward.

They sit on the sofa at opposite ends.

"How is Emily?" Astoria questions, it's not angry or bitter like someone might expect. She talks with gentle pity.

"We aren't speaking right now," Draco admits, glancing at Astoria who is fiddling with her fingers in her lap. "We both thought it was making things too hard,"

"You can still see her after we wed you know? I won't be mad at you for spending time with her. Christ, you can sleep with her if you want. The lord knows you'll never feel for me what your feel for her," Again she doesn't sound bitter as one might expect. She speaks in a light tone and seems to genuinely mean it. Draco feels guilty.

"It's not your fault. I just- I want her, only her, for the rest of my life,"

"You deserve her. You're a good person Draco, you deserve to be happy and I know that she's the person who makes you happy,"

"She makes me feel alive," Draco comments

"After everything you've been through you deserve that," Astoria comments. She takes his hand in hers and squeezes gently "I'm truly sorry,"

"So am I. You deserve to find someone who means to you what she means to me. Everyone deserves one great love story,"

**

The week that follows is slow. The wedding is closer by the day and their mothers are whisking around preparing things.

Draco throws himself into work. He picks up extra hours wherever he can and avoids the manor as best as he can.

He sees Mrs Weasley a few days before the wedding and tells her how much he's dreading it. He allows her to provide comfort and mug of tea and has no idea that the whole time Ginny is listening on the stair case and spends her night ranting to Harry about how unfair it all is.

Astoria allows her mother to drag her to meeting after meeting about the wedding. She goes to dress fittings and venue check ups. She takes the weight of the wedding on her shoulders simply so Draco doesn't have to.

She's in the city a lot and she often finds herself staring into the window of Weasley's wizard wheezes. She watches Emily as she serves customers with a bright smile and notices that the second they turn around her smile drops and she seems heart broken.

Astoria Greengrass didn't really know how to feel. She didn't hate the girl in the store. She knew that she was the one stealing Draco away. She also didn't hate Draco for being unable to want her. She saw the beautiful girl and she remembered the bravery and kindness she has shown. She understood why Draco would want her.

Astoria may have been younger but she was at Hogwarts when the couple were together. She saw the way they moved like the only other person in the room was each other. She saw the bright smiles on their faces when they were together and she knew from her older sister's stories that Draco Malfoy was a better man for his girlfriend.

Astoria didn't hate either of them. She always knew she wouldn't get to fall in love. She knew she would marry who she was told and that if she was lucky they would at least be friends. She knew it would be sex to procreate. She knew it would be fake smiles so the world believed they loved each other. She knew it wouldn't be love.

But Draco Malfoy had been stupid. He allowed himself to fall and now he couldn't be with the one who held his heart.

It's why Astoria had forced herself not to fall in love. She often wondered if she could have loved Matthew, if she didn't have the weight of an arranged marriage she thought that maybe she could.

She didn't know if it was better to have loved and experienced it or to lock yourself away and never get to feel something so strong.

She didn't hate them for wanting each other. She didn't hate them for falling in love.
She didn't hate them for being soulmates.

But, as she stated into Weasley's wizard wheezes and watched as George Weasley wrapped an arm around Emily's shoulder and said something that made her laugh. The first smile Astoria saw actually reach her eyes. She couldn't help but wonder what she could ever do with all this information. She couldn't help. So she allowed her future mother in law to pull her off in the direction of Gringotts.