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Whoopsie.

Might be triggering


Shawn's POV

I woke up next to my beautiful girlfriend. The first thing I did was lean over and kiss her exposed shoulder since she had her back turned away from me. Then I tuned back and noticed that it was raining today and I just kept looking out of the window, watching the raindrops hit the window and roll down. I knew Camila would probably stay asleep for at least another half an hour since it was only 8 am. I decided to use this time and go and do some workout. I carefully got out of bed, kissing her cheek one more time and getting ready.

I quickly walked downstairs, greeting Ale and Sinu, woh insisted on making me a cup of coffee which I drank with her while talking a little. It just was natural. Ale was outside by the garage cleaning up a little. "Alright, I'm gonna workout. See you later Sinu." I smiled after putting my and her stuff away. "Have fun, let out all of your energy Shawn." She smiled before walking outside and I made my way to workout.

After two hours , I was completely sweaty but was feeling great. I walked back into our roman Mila was laying on the bed, eyes open but glued to her phone. But as soon as she heard me, she locked her phone and quickly smiled at me. I could see that her eyes were slightly red. "Are you Alright Mila?" I asked, walking over to her and leaning down to kiss her lips softly. "Yeah" She said, smiling, making me actually believe that everything was fine... Oh how she fooled me....

Camila's POV

Shawn believed me after I smiled at him. During the next few days I started reducing my food consume, always looking at the comments of people. I know it is the worst thing you can do, especially when you aren't mentally stable but I just couldn't help it. During the first day I went down on calories, extremely. I counted everything, without anyone noticing and ended the day with 600 calories, making me very proud and wanting to keep up. Shawn of course picked up on my change in food since I usually eat snacks at every time of the day but I just told him I wasn't feeling too well with my stomach.

I kept up the next few days, always going down on calories and on the fourth day I finally finished a day with a small amount of barely 400 calories. I knew I wouldn't see a change on my body that quick but it for sure felt amazing, knowing that you are loosing weight.

Everything has been going great. Another week passed and during that week Shawn and I had won the kids choice awards and made a quick video, sending it to nickelodeon. We got tons of congratulations and mama ordered a chocolate cake, nickelodeon themed. It was a very sweet gesture but in my mind I knew I couldn't eat only piece of that cake or else, I wouldn't be allowed to eat for the next two day and that would definitely be suspicious. But when we were all sitting at the table, mama placing a big piece of cake on each plate, I somehow forgot about the calories I was counting and just dug into the piece of cake, making Shawn laugh. "Baby! You have frosting everywhere." Shawn smiled. He looked around, noticing that no one was looking at us and started kissing and licking away the frosting from my face, making me giggle. "You just love that cake too much" He laughed. So did I. "Another piece?" He offered. I eagerly nodded my head, pushing the plate towards him so he could put another piece on my plate. Shawn didn't though. "Why aren't you eating another one?" I asked, my mouth full of cake. "Well, I need to take care of my shape..." He only said laughing. I gave a small smile, getting lost in thoughts at that sentence. ' I need to take care of my shape.' That sentence stuck in my head... and immediately the guilt came up. The guilt over haven eaten that much... my second fucking piece of cake...I stopped eating, setting the fork down next to my plate and slightly pushing the plate away. "Whats wrong?" Shawn asked, looking over at me after having notice how I stopped eating. "Nothing, I'm just not hungry, I cant finish this anymore..." I said 'smiling' at him. "Oh, alright." He said, not saying anything more.

We ended the day by going upstairs and just playing guitar and piano, him teaching me while I also took the time to distract myself from the horrible feelings of guilt I was feeling. We played until it was dark outside and Shawn almost fell asleep in my lap, listening to me play piano. "Baby, come, lets move to the bed so we can sleep." HE gave me a tired nod and we got ready before going into bed. Shawn fell asleep immediately with me laying on his arm again while he lightly hugged me. I instead couldn't fall asleep. The guilt still was eating away at me and it felt horrible. I was feeling incredibly bloated and... fat and that prevented me from falling asleep. To pass some time and hopefully forgetting about those horrible feelings and thoughts, I grabbed my phone... but not for social media, not again. I typed into my search bar 'How to sleep when feeling bloated?'. I know that question was kinda stupid but I needed to know hot to fall asleep. I was also awake for a few hours now and needed rest. I scrolled through my phone searching fro answers somehow getting off topic and finding tips how to 'loose weight' or how to 'not feel guilty after eating too much'. I came across something which I knew was a really really bad thing to but I had thought about it a few times already. After reading a bit more about it, I finally stood up, entering a bathroom but not the one in our room so Shawn wouldn't get suspicious in the morning. I walked into the hall and downstairs to the bathroom in by our living room. I closed the door behind me and immediately did what I wanted to do. I stuck my finger into my throat and all the contents from my stomach left my body. It hurt a but but not too much which I found good. I honestly felt satisfied an... lighter. After washing my mouth and splashing some water into my face I grabbed the door hand to go back into our room. Right before I opened the door though, I heard something outside, making me stop in my tracks. I waited for a bit and then slowly opened the door. After making sure that no one was outside, I rushed back upstairs and got back into bed.

Sofi's POV

I had heard Mila's door open and then close again, making me stand up from my bed. I know Shawn went to bed pretty early because he was really tired earlier and it was 2 am by now. I was awake because I spent my time in tin Tok, like always but why would Camila still be awake? I quietly opened my door a little after turning off my LED lights so I could look what she was doing. I saw her rushing downstairs quietly and I followed. She wasn't going outside like he sometimes does when she feels overwhelmed or anxious nor did she go to the living room. Instead I saw her getting into the small bathroom which was strange. Why would she use this one when she had an amazing bathroom in her room? I watched her close the door behind her and then it was quiet. It actually was quiet for a few minutes which was strangeI walked closer, kneeling down in front of the door and looking through the keyhole. I know it was a very nasty thing to do but I had a weird feeling. Something felt weird. I looked through and my suspicion was right, when I heard her retching. Even though I was only 13, I knew exactly what she was doing. A immediately gasped quietly, pressing my hand to my mouth. Shit. What the heck is Camila doing?! I was contemplating on knocking and letting her know I was here or just walking away. I decided on the second one. I quickly stood up, rushing back upstairs and closing the door not so quietly behind me. I got into bed, trying to forget what I had just witnessed. Pleas Camila, don't do this... Am I going to talk to her about it or even to Shawn? To mom? To dad? I honestly don't know... I felt helpless... and worried for her.

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Not so satisfied with this one... sorry.

Oh and just wanted to tell you my best milestone so far... I've been clean for  3 months and 25 days🥺 that makes me kinda proud of myself... 117 fucking days... holy crap... thats a lot... the most I ever did.

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