Quarantined together | c.c & s.m

66

Thank you so much for al the love on the last chapter 🥺

Shawn's POV

"Shawn... can I talk to you?" I heard Sofi when I was about to walk outside. She had grabbed my wrist and pushed me aside when Mila had rushed upstairs to grab the mats. "Sure?..." I was obviously confused. "What is ist about? Are you okay?" I asked when I saw her anxious face. "Yeah... I well.... not really... " She stuttered so it must be something serious. "It's about Ca-..." "I got them!" Mila shouted running towards us, interrupting out talk. What did she want to say? "Is everything alright?" She asked when she saw Sofi and me and out serious looks on out faces. "Yeah, yeah... have fun you two." Sofi quickly brushed it off. Before walking out she gave me a look which meant that she wanted to talk to me later. I gave her a small nod and watched her rush upstairs. "What was that about?" Mila asked confused. "Oh nothing... she just asked me something about Aaliyah." I quickly said before taking her hand which was completely cold. "Baby, you are freezing... are you feeling okay?" I know she usually is someone who is cold a lot but it has been a lot more and frequent lately. "Yeah sure." She smiled, pulling her hand, taking the mats and leading me outside. I could tell something was wrong... but I just couldn't figure out what it was.... she hadn't been on social media... thats something I knew because we were currently offline on every platform. So what was going on? She wasn't needing her anxiety pills either.... so I was confused. I decided on just watching her closely.

"20 minutes?" I asked, setting my phone down in front of us. She nodded with a small smile and sat down cross legged. We then meditated together and were calm afterwards, just breathing for a bit, holding hands. "You ready?" I asked after some times, opening my eyes and seeing that Mila still had her eyes closed. She then let out a deep breath, opening her eyes and nodding. "Let's go... I need a shower...." She admitted, rolling up her mat while I did the same. "Yeah, me too... we can shower together." I suggested as we walked back inside. Usually it would be always a shower together except when she had her period but that currently wasn't it... so her answer surprised me. We had also showered together in the morning... so I was very confused what had changed since then. "I actually would like to shower alone... I just don't feel too well...." She said quietly, unsure of my reaction. "Thats alright baby." I said reassuringly, kissing her head after having placed the mats back and being back in our room. "Thank you." She whispered, also kissing my neck. "Any plans for afterwards? Hungry already?" I asked, watching her take out some sweatpants and and one of my long sleeves and of course some underwear. "I feel strangely exhausted honestly.... but I'm not hungry yet...." she said, looking at me but not into my eyes, which again was weird but I shrugged it off and nodded. "Alright, we can watch something later when we're both done." "Thank you, that would be amazing." She stood on her tippy toes, kissing my lips before rushing off into he bathroom and take a shower. As soon as the door closed, I took the chance to go and talk to Sofi. I knocked on her door and wiped for her to say something. "Yeah!" I heard her so I opened the door slightly, peeking inside. "Shawn! Come inside." "But we need to be quick with whatever you want to tell me. Mila is just taking a shower." "Yeah sure, come, you can sit down there." I walked over and sat down on her grey beanbag as I watched her sit down on the floor in front of me, fumbling with her fingers. Something Camila also does whenever she is anxious or nervous. "So... what I wanted to tell you.... it's about Mila..." "Camila?" She nodded, looking back at her fingers. "Yeah... last night I watched her... I know it's something you don't do but I followed her since int seemed weird.... she went downstairs to the bathroom...""Downstairs? But she has a bathroom in our room...." "Yeah, thats why I thought it was weird... don't think I am weird please for what i'm about to tell you:" She laughed slightly and so did i. "I won't, promise." I smiled. "So... yeah she locked the door and I looked through that little key hole...she... she wasn't actually using the bathroom..." "What do you mean?" I had no idea where this was going. "She threw up Shawn...." I frowned. "Well... she had actually told me that she wasn't feeling well that morni-" "No Shawn... I think you are getting this wrong... I watched her... putting her finger into her throat so she would throw up..." "Wait... you mean... are you telling me she did this on purpose?" I was utterly confused. "Yeah..." She whispered. "Oh my god..." I whispered. I was horrified.... this is horrible... she cant be doing this...I quickly wiped away the tear that was rolling down my cheek, not wanting to cry in front of Sofi. "Shawn... talk to her please..." She begged, obviously concerned about her older sister. "I- I will... Thank you for telling me...." I hugged her and rushed back over to our room. The water had stopped by now so she was probably getting dressed. I would be watching her for now... seeing how she acts around food and stuff... she had always struggled with food and I cant say that enough.... but this new habit she was starting to pick up on... was worrying me more than anything before.... apart from- whatever. I wouldn't be confronting her right away.... I decided on trying to get her to eat and stay with me afterwards, not letting her go to the toilet... to throw up. Maybe making a snack for while watching a movie would be a good idea to get a first impression on what was going on. I walked into the kitchen, greeting Ale and Sinu and starting to make a healthy snack. If anything, she would most likely eat something healthy. I was too in shock to even cry about it... so I just started preparing paprika along with cut cucumber, carrots and a light dip. In a separate bowl I out some chips and also prepared some tea for both of us. I walked upstairs and when I entered the room, Mila was already sitting in bed, writing something into her diary. "Hey baby, I prepared some snacks for later." I set them down on the raise where the bed or better said, the mattress was on. I didn't dare looking into her eyes, scared that she would see that i... and also Sofi knew something.... "I'm gonna take a shower now." "Okay." She only said, deepened into her diary. I grabbed some boxers and closed the door behind me. In the shower I let the tears fall freely for my eyes, the shock from earlier finally turning into raw emotions. Mila.... I cant believe she is doing this.... since when? Why? What brought her to do it? How did I not notice this? I was feeling incredibly guilty for not noticing that something was wrong... that although we were living together... I didn't notice anything. I quickly put my hand on my mouth to stop a sob from escaping and let the warm water crash down to my body. But what if Sofi just didn't see it right? I was secretly hoping she was wrong... but Mila saying she's been sick to her stomach or not well enough to eat seemed like a good excuse to either not eat or throw up afterwards.

After getting out of the shower and getting ready I did not immediately go out. I stayed there, trying to calm myself down.This was wearing me out just as much. I made the plan to just put on whatever makes her happy, which we usually did anyways, and hold her tight... hold her so tight just so she realizes how much I love and need her. I also wasn't going to allow myself to sleep tonight... I don't want her to leave tonight, knowing why she would want to. I took a last deep breath before making sure I had no tears left and opened the door, seeing my adorable but apparently so hurt girlfriend curled up in blankets on our bed, waiting for me to come. The food was untouched, just like I had expected, which showed that Sofis suspicions could be right. She usually snacks around.... "Hey baby. Have you decide on a movie?" I asked with a soft smile and laying down next to her under her blanket. I pulled her into me, just wanting to hold her as close as possible. I put my chin on her head after kissing her and waited for her answer. "Not really... but.... you know my go to movie, right?" She said shyly. "Of course I do baby." I smiled, taking the remote and typing 'Tangled' into the search bar on Disney Plus. "Can you give me the snack plate?" I asked, feeling slightly hungry and hoping to get her to eat something as well. "Sure." She gave me the plate which I placed on the bed in front of us. "Want some?" I asked, pulling out some carrot slices. She just shook her head, pressing herself against my chest. I couldn't help but notice once again how much colder her body was than usual... A few weeks ago every time I would hold her, her body would radiate so much warmth... right now it was the opposite. I let out a quiet disappointed sight before eating the slices by myself.

Throughout the evening I asked her a few times if she wanted to eat something, she always declined apart from a few cucumber slices. But that didn't ease my worries. It honestly only confirmed them even more. Mila was developing a very bad eating... disorder.... and it was hurting my heart to say it out loud to myself. She had fallen asleep by the end of the movie so I put the half empty plate aside and pulled her on top of me. She was pressed with her chest against me and I wrapped my arms tightly around her, kissing her head several times, hoping to ease whatever bad thoughts were going through her mind. I kissed her so many times... I just couldn't stop, feeling like if I would stop, she would slip away.... out of my life... and I couldn't live with that.... I could never live without her...

That reminded me of some song lyrics I had recently written. The song was obviously about Camila... I named it 'Can't imagine' and it was about how I just couldn't imagine a life without her.... And thats just exactly how I was feeling right now... 'Without you, I'd always be alone - Without you, I don't know where to go' I would be so lost without her...

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Writing this hurt me a little.... but I noticed how the story was getting a little basic so I decided to put in a new.... kinda serious... twist. Hope you will continue to enjoy this.