A global Pandemic hits the world in 2020. Camila Cabello, the shy singer which has some self- esteem problems, suffers from anxiety, trust issues and has dealt with many other things in her life, and Shawn Mendes, the popular hot singer, are dating...
A few days later I woke up in the middle of the night because I heard something. I opened my eyes and was turned away from Shawn but I could see the room lit up by a phone screen so I turned around to look at him. He had is phone in his hand and was laying on his back, looking at the screen. "What are you doing?" I asked tired and confused. I sat up, rubbed my eyes and when I looked at him I noticed he had tear stains on his cheeks. "Hey... whats up?" I asked, concerned, leaning down to take a closer look. at what he was looking at on his phone. Twitter. I quickly turned on the bedside lamp which brought a little light into the room and took his phone. "Shawn... stop it." I said, taking a quick look at what he was looking and then locked it. I knew it was hate. Just like I got it... a lot. Twitter is our... deathplace. "Mila... please... I just-" "Remember how you always tell me to not listen? It's my turn. Don't listen. I love you... your family loves you, my family loves you. That's enough confirmation, isn't it?" He stayed quiet as I gently wiped his cheeks with my small thumbs. "You know baby... sometimes you should listen to your own advice." He said, pushing me down so I was lying on his chest with my head while I intertwined our fingers. "Why?" he then asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence. "What?" I sat up again, looking down at him. "Why... why do we... get so much hate? What did we do wrong?" I could hear his voice shaking slightly but I could also tell he was trying to be strong for me and to not cry. "Babe... you remember what you always tell me? People are jealous. jealous that they cant have what we have... that they don't look like us... but thats okay..." he let out a sigh, closing his eyes and sitting up as well, wrapping the blanket around our backs as he snuggled into my neck. This is the vulnerable Shawn... I also love every part of him. This is probably one of my favorite sides. It shows me that I am not alone with my feelings.... he just deals with them differently... luckily. "You could really listen to your own advice..." He said again. "It's not always easy... you should know..." I answered softly. We were just staring out the almost completely closed window. It was dark outside. "I'm glad to have you.... I'm glad we have each other." He whispered. "So am I ... I'm glad I have you by my side." I shivered, pulling him closer.
"Back to sleep?" I asked after some time of just sitting next to each other. "I- I don't think I can... now..." He admitted. "That's okay baby... wanna go and sit outside? It helped me a lot when we did it last time I had to deal with hate." I looked down at him and stroked his shoulder, waiting for an answer. "Okay... yeah." He smiled. We dressed, since it was could on this late April night. I pulled on one of Shawns hoodies over his shirt and some sweats and a pair of socks. He did the same, grabbing the blankets and I grabbed the pillows. "Let's go?" "Yeah." I nodded, quietly following him downstairs. We quietly opened the door to the yard near our pool and this time it was me to pull together two stools and lay the things down to make it comfortable for us. He wanted to help me but I stopped me. It was my turn to take care of him. "Lay down baby... It's my turn to be there for you." I smiled at him. He laid down on the stools with his head on the pillows I sat down next to him, placing both blankets over our bodies, spooning him from behind. It was kinda weird since I am so much smaller than him but it felt amazing.... being there for him. I made sure to hold him tightly and wrap my arms around him, intertwining my fingers with his, just like he always does. "I love you baby, I want you to get some sleep." I whispered. "You have to get some sleep as well princess." he said tiredly. "I will." I sigh. And a few seconds later, his breathing was steady and he was asleep. I stayed awake, my head leaning on his back as I looked up into the sky, watching the stars.
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(That's the position the are in, their hands intertwined)
Why do I feel like him getting hate is... my fault? He never got this much hate before getting with me... this just... has to be my fault. And I think he know too... he just doesn't say anything... he doesn't want me to feel guilty. But I know him. He knows it's my fault. I read it multiple times online. It's always my fault.... it was also my fault that Fifth harmony started to go down and to get hate... everything is my fault... fans being angry at me because of the tour? My fault. My family getting photographed everywhere? My fault. Matthew.... being that way with me? My fault. Everything... is somehow my fault. And I feel... I sometimes don't know what to feel. I had now tears streaming down my face, wetting Shawns back slightly. I would definitely not get any sleep tonight. I continued crying silently, making sure to not wake him up. I was glad he was able to find some peace tonight. But I somehow couldn't. And it's always like that. Things go wrong so quickly. How can... someone like Shawn... love me? Me? He is too innocent... to get any kind of hate because of me. To... be with me.
Maybe some thing just... aren't meant to be... or are they?
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Poor Shawn.... I think we don't talk enough about how Shawn might feel....
But...it obviously also affects Mila.
Oh, do you want me to put more of those photos in my chapters to have a picture of what I mean?
