⁴⁶, lovely rain

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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬

chapter forty-six,

lovely rain

"I'm truly sorry, Elliot

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"I'm truly sorry, Elliot."

Calista Ella Garfield. 

I KNOW SHE'S MAD, I have sent multiple letters but didn't get a response. I miss my best friend. I just want to talk to her, but these past months I feel like she doesn't want to hear it. She listens, but at the same time she doesn't and it frustrates me. 

"I thought about ending it-" I whisper to the boy holding me close. "You can't, I won't allow you-" "He told me to end it, so we could finally be together again." I look up to the boy who looks so much like his younger brother. "You know Fin would never do that, it is all in your-" "head. I know. I know that now. With him being gone I feel less crazy, I know I was in love with him, but for the first time in a while, I know why Fred is my boyfriend. It-... he isn't clouding my judgement anymore." "Do you still want to end it?" "Yes, I do, but I won't." "I know how that feels-" I roll away from him and lean against the wall while staring at the boy who still lays on my bed. "You have to talk to her, El. She is on the edge and if she falls off, we can't get her back. You should've talked to her during Christmas, she is more important-" 

The girls run around trying to get ready for an afternoon in the courtyard. Audrey lays on her bed staring at Genevieve and Sage who try to get everything together. Even thinking about Christmas and the situation with Lenora makes me feel sick again. My feet make their way to the toilet where I fall on my knees and vomit in the toilet. "What is taking so long?" Genevieve walks in and as soon as she sees me she helps me with my hair waiting for me to be done. "Merlin, get it all out, Lizzie."I retch for a moment before vomiting again. When I am finally done I clean my mouth and fall to the side, leaning against the wall. "Girls, we want to go-" "Sage, tell the others to go, we need to go to the hospital wing." The girl stares at me for a moment and leaves to tell the boys. Genevieve puts a robe around me, "are you okay?" "Yea, it is probably just a side effect of the drugs I take...-" "What drugs?" Sage came back and now stares at me in confusion. "I- uh I- they prevent me from seeing Finlay." Genevieve and Sage just stare at me and just now I realize how bad I must look. Big black eye bags under my eyes, skin white as snow, my mascara seems to be the only thing that's in place. Sage is the one who breaks the silence. "Well drugs or not, we should get that checked out, c'mon." She and Genevieve help me stand and after the three of us make our way to the hospital wing. 

~

We are chilling in the courtyard with Theo, Blaise and Lukas but I can't keep my mind straight. My eyes stare into the black lake as the others talk enthusiastically with each other. "Cali, what are you thinking about?" I snap back into the reality. "I am okay," I immediately respond to Lukas who exchanges a look with his girlfriend. "I didn't-" "I am sorry, it is an automatic response, I was just thinking about how to continue now-" "Well for starters you can make, Gen, Nora and me aunties." Sage laughs making me chuckle a bit. "And you may need a concealing spell for those death eaters." Genevieve continues. "-And you should send a letter to your mom about the drugs you are taking-" "I already did that, I spoke to her through the fire place communication system." "How did you do that? They are keeping an eye on every fireplace." Theodore looks impressed. "Not the fire place in the headmaster's office. I snuck in this morning." 

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