𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝑺𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒄𝒌|Book 2

𝟏𝟏

*long chapter sorry in advance, excuse mistakes if any*

Constance tap her thumbs together as she look around the quiet room. It was the day she was officially getting the procedure done. She had been at the clinic since nine this morning thinking about her whole decision.

She was really doing this.

All night she stayed up crying to herself wanting Demetrius badly. She wanted to be held in his arms, but she knew that wasn't going to happen. She had officially messed up their relationship because of her selfishness. She sniffled, wiping her nose and blanking back her tears.

The room door opened and she quickly wiped her tears.

"Hello, Miss Ross. I'm Doctor Hander and this is Nurse Jackie. We'll be doing your procedure today." The Doctor told her and she nodded her head.

As Doctor Hander got everything together, Nurse Jackie stood by the bed.

"Just lay back and relax. It'll be over faster than you know." Nurse Jackie told her as Constance laid back on the bed, propping her legs up.

Doctor Hander turned on the machine then look at Constance.

"This might stink."

Constance shut her eyes, shaking her head.

"I miss you like everyday. Wanna be with you, but you're away." Constance mumbled as she remembered the lyrics to Beyoncé song.

She sat in the room alone wishing Demetrius was here. She wanted to talk like actually talk this time because she didn't want to argue. She was done with all that, she owe him an apology for doing the shit she did. She look up once the bedroom door opened and Demetrius walked in.

"Hi." she said hoping he would reply back.

"Hi." he replied back going to the closet.

"Umm, can we talk really quick?" She asked him.

"If our talk gonna lead to an argue then no."

"It's not, I just really wanna talk." she told him crawling to the edge of the bed. She crossed her legs as he sat down beside her.

"I-umm, I wanna tell you that I didn't go through with it." She began and Demetrius look over at her.

"I didn't go through with the abortion. I changed my mind at the last minute because it just didn't feel right to me anymore. I guess I had to be in the situation and see things for myself. With that being said, I'm so sorry for the way I been acting and treating you lately. It was wrong of me to come at you like that yesterday, but there's an explanation for all of it too."

Constance paused, clearing her throat. "I'm not the old me anymore, I haven't been for years and I can finally admit that. I'm not okay at all and I pretend that I am because I don't want to put my burdens on you or anyone else. I hear voices in my head and it's mainly my mom telling me that I'm worthless and would never be anything in life.

"It gotten to the point where I actually believe her sometimes and I take my anger out on you because I can't on her. I've been taking pills to keep myself sane and to not hurt myself. But, I still have thoughts at times. I know you hate me right now and I don't blame you at all because I hate myself too. I hate the person that I became and I want to get back to my old self, but it's so hard to do so when it feels like my old self is sinking into a black hole.

"I'm in a fight with myself and I'm losing badly. And I don't want to lose myself because if I do then I'll lose you and I don't want to lose you at all. I'm trying so hard and I'm sorry that it's not my best right now, but I promise I'm working on it. I just owe you this apology for being a bad person and I'm really sorry." she apologized, lowering her head and wiping her tears.

"You done?" Demetrius asked and she nodded her head.

"I don't hate you Constance, so I don't know why you think that." he started and she look up at him.

"But, I upset you yesterday and you-"

"But, did I say that I hate you? No, I didn't at all cause I don't. Yes, you upset me yesterday. Yes, I was made and I yelled at you. But, never did I say that I hated you because I don't. I just didn't like the fact that you made a huge decision without talking to me first. And yes I was going to disagree with your choice, but I wasn't going to force you keep our baby if you didn't want to. I would never force you to do something with your body that you don't want to. But, I had the right to put my opinion on it.

"And I'm happy that you decided to not get an abortion and I really hope you made that decision because you wanted to, not to make me happy. Because either way, I'm still going to love you no matter what baby. All we had to do is talk first and we wouldn't be going through this right now. I ask for you to open up so I can help you with your problems. Not to judge you or make fun of you because I'm the last person to do that."

"We all go through shit in life, I just wanted you to talk to me about it. Your depressed and have suicidal thoughts, you don't think I need to know that so I can help you out. That's what I'm here to do, to help and protect you through everything. I make sure your fine before I am because I know what you been through. I wouldn't be asking for you to talk to me if I knew it wasn't going to help you out.

"I don't care if you gotta spill your whole life to me or just tell me that your not feeling okay, I want to know regardless of the situation. And I don't want to be mean when I say this nor do I want to hurt your feelings, but there's something mentally wrong with you. You have a mental illness and that's okay. I'm not sure if you know that and if you don't then it's alright because I'm here to help you. We can go to a therapist right now and figure this shit out. Regardless of the situation, Constance I want you to talk to me, that's all. Can you do that for me?" he asked and she nodded her head.

"I didn't want to hurt your feelings or make you cry. I know your feelings are hurt right now babygirl and that wasn't my intention at all. I just want you to know that I'm here for you." he told her, wiping her tears.

"Come here." he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close to him. He kiss her forehead, wiping her tears again.

"It's going to be fine baby, I'm here for you. When I say I love you forever, I mean that."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"It's okay baby, I love you still."

"I love you too."

a. aight y'all they done arguing (finally), now I need y'all to stop being mean to me jk😂

b. thoughts? opinions? questions?

ao_phillips u wanted it be like a surprise, so that's how I did the chapter. it wasn't my original plan but I liked your idea so thank you luv😊