Andante con Brio

IX

He looked back once and he could just about see the last bit of Brett's hair as he slunk away around the corner. He didn't even have it in him to smile at his back, now. He took a deep breath, stepped into the house and kicked off his shoes slowly, trying to steel himself more and more with every deep inhale. He knew it was in vain though. He could barely keep himself upright as it was. Suddenly he vehemently wished he had taken his sister up on her offer to stay, but she was gone now. He really did have to do this all by himself. 
He walked to the kitchen, his feet dragging slightly over the smooth floor. 
"Mum." he said softly as he stepped through the door opening. She turned around instantly at his tone, her eyebrows raised, her face a question mark. 
"Eddy, are you okay?"
He nodded mechanically. Yeah, technically he was okay, right? Sort of. 
"Yeah. But I need to talk to you about something. Can we sit?"
She opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again with an audible snap. She turned on her heel, stomped off to the dinner table and sat down on her chair without another word. 
Eddy heaved the biggest sigh in the world. 
Right. Here goes nothing. 
He sat down opposite her, the scraping of the chair on the tile floor so loud in his ringing ears he thought for a second that it might break them. 
"Mum."
He looked at her face, getting more worried with every passing second, and he tried to force himself to say the words, just get them out, let them float in the space around them. 
"So. I wanted... I need to let you know I am going to audition for the conservatory, mum. I know you want something different for me and I am sorry, I wish I could be what you want me to be but I'm not: I'm a musician and this is what I need to do."
This was possibly the longest sentence he had spoken to her in the last six months, and it was out now, out of him at last. He closed his mouth and looked down at the table, waiting as she absorbed the floating words. 
Then she cleared her throat and his eyes swept up at her. He could see the anger, in her eyes, in the tension of her forehead, and he braced himself hard for what she was about to say. 
You knew this already, Eddy. You've always known that this would be tough. You can do this. 
He screamed the words in his head, his eyes on his mum like she was the scariest thing in the world, like she was judge, jury and executioner all in one.
After the longest moment of silence ever she nodded slowly. 
"So." she said in Mandarin. "You thought you would take the easy way, and play music, instead of doing the work and becoming successful in the world."
She pinned him with her glare. 
"To be honest, I think you just don't want to study for the test, Eddy. It's a hard test. I think that maybe you just haven't got what it takes to pass it, anyway."

Eddy could feel his mouth opening and closing like he was a fish on dry land. He couldn't believe she had just said that to him. This was so unfair! She knew full well how good his grades were for the sciences. She must know that he could get into med school. So how could she say this to him? 
But then something inside him clicked into place as heavily as some of those giant cogs in a tower clock. 
So this was her play, huh, to try and sway him? To send him where she wanted him? Fine. Two could play at that game. He swallowed quickly and when he spoke again his voice was surer than it had ever been before. 
"You know that's simply not true, mum. But you know what? I will take the test anyway, to show you. And I will send my registration for the audition to the con in today."

He knew he had won, because what could she say to that? But the trace of sadness he saw in her eyes now stopped him from being as mad as he had been a moment ago. 
He was still pretty fucking mad, though, and he stomped his way up the stairs to his room to call Brett. First he walked straight to the pile of papers on the corner of his desk though and fished out the all-important registration form from where it had been safely buried for weeks. 
Good. Done. He could pop that in the post in a minute. He needed some air, anyway. 
His fingers were still sure as he dialed Brett's number. 
"Hey, bro? I'm coming outside now. Let's walk to the post box together, yeah?"