Andante con Brio

XLII

They were walking back to the party over the path, side by side, the crunch of the gravel underneath their sneakers loud in the silence of the night. Eddy was breathing deeply, all the way to his belly, still trying to get his body under control, when suddenly Brett's quietude took on a deepness he recognised. He turned to him.
"Something up?"
Brett grinned for just one second.
"You know me too well. No, nothing's up, but I did just want to ask; what did you talk about with Todd, this afternoon?"
Oh.
"You don't miss much, do you? Erm... all right, let's walk over to the beach, then?"
The group might be missing them, he knew, but this was very definitely not a conversation he wanted to have within earshot of anyone else.
Look, it wasn't that he didn't want Brett to know what he had asked Todd, of course not. It was also not that he didn't actually want to talk about it with him - he had been planning to all along - it was just that this sort of thing was so awkward. It was just that he had no idea how to tell him. 

They walked over the campsite quickly, avoiding the light of the fire and the raucous laughter, and soon they hit the sand and took their shoes off. There were a million stars above them, spreading out everywhere, and there was a little sliver of moon above the horizon, just enough so they could see the edges of the waves light up. It was magical, of course. This place was simply awesome. Eddy stopped where the gently waves lapped the sand and braced himself.
"Okay, so, it's nothing bad or anything, I just... I guess I just wanted to ask him something I had been wondering about. I don't know if this will sound stupid to you."
He could see Brett turning to him in the near pitch-black.
"Of course it won't sound stupid to me."
Eddy nodded into nothing and stared back out over the waves. it was like little fireflies where swimming, playing in the surf; appearing at the very top of the wave and then gliding down again in glee, into the swell, out of sight until the next wave came.
"I asked Todd... I asked him when a guy loses his virginity. I had looked, you know, on Google. But no one seems to agree. I thought I'd ask someone I know can't possibly be a virgin anymore what he thought."
Brett was very quiet for a moment.
"You were worrying about that?"
"Not so much worrying, I guess, just... wondering."
Brett fingers found his and intertwined them, just the way it was right, just the way they were meant to. Surely no one would see them here, right?
"Does it matter?"
Eddy blinked at the waves. Did it matter? He wasn't actually sure why it would? It wasn't like they were sharing this information with anyone, right?
"Yeah, it does. I don't really know why. But somehow I was wondering. What we did last night, that was... well, apart from mind-blowing, it felt different, more... intimate I guess, to what we had done before."

Brett hair stroked gently against his cheek as he came close, almost like a cat wanting a pet.
"It was. I loved it. Did you?"
Eddy laughed once.
"Need you ask?"
"Not really. Did you tell Todd about that?"
"What? No! Of course not! I didn't tell Todd anything!"
He tried to keep his voice down, but he couldn't quite keep the shock out of it. He never would... shit... was Brett mad? Should he have kept his mouth shut? He desperately groped around for something to say, but suddenly Brett's hair was there again, against his cheek, and Brett's fingers squeezed his softly.
"Don't worry, my love, I guess I wouldn't have minded if you did. I guess it's normal to talk to friends, you know, when you're not closeted, like we are? I wouldn't know."
Eddy shook his head vociferously.
"Maybe that's true. I wouldn't, though. That's just between you and me."
He could feel Brett's nod.
"Yeah, for me too. So, what did Todd say?"
Brett had been right, earlier, Eddy did know him very well. So he could hear how carefully neutral Brett's tone was, and he could also hear the sincere question underneath that neutral tone. Oh yes, Brett did very much want to know the answer. Had he been thinking about this too?
"He said you lose it when you do something intimate with someone and you come. Although he was being polite and called it climax."
Brett grinned quietly.
"I've seen you come."
"Yeah. You have."
"I get the feeling I'll get to see it again quite soon."

That was it, even though his opening was just here to ask Brett the question he had in his mind, he couldn't, not now. God, how was he going to wait, now, until later? Couldn't they just go to the tent already, and forget about everyone and everything? He sighed, and when he spoke again he knew he was sounding petulant. He couldn't help it, though. 
"Okay, so let's go back to this wretched fire then, and eat some fucking sausage." 
Brett burst out laughing.
"Wow, I didn't know you could be so poetic."
He was still grinning softly when they reached their shoes.