Andante con Brio

CXXVII

At that moment Todd looked right at him, and he could see the realisation that he had seen hit him.
"Shit." he muttered harshly, and before Eddy could say anything he was already legging it out of the door and down the hall. Brett stared at his back in astonishment. 
"What's going on?" he said. 
"Don't know." Eddy lied. Look, he would explain everything to Brett later. If Todd let him. Right now he had a friend to help. "I'll go see, okay?"
He was out the door and after Todd before Brett had a chance to answer. 

He caught up to him in the hallway with the percussion instruments. 
"Todd! Jeez, man, hold up."
"No." Todd's voice was rough. 
He ran the last few steps and put his hand on his friend's shoulder. 
"Toddy. Please."
Todd stopped so suddenly that Eddy had to turn around, and stared at him. His eyes were filled with tears. 
"What, Eddy? You want to hear me say it? You want to hear that I'm in love with him?"
His voice was raising fast, and Eddy looked around quickly to see if they were alone. 
"Fine! I'm in love with him. What fucking difference does it make? He'll never feel that way about me, Eddy, never."
Eddy blinked and looked down. He had no idea what do say, no idea what to do. But then his voice worked anyway, of its own accord. 
"How long have you felt this way?" he half-whispered. 
Todd shrugged harshly and swiped at a tear that had rolled down his cheek. 
"Too fucking long, Eddy." he crescendoed. "And now we're housemates too. Fuck, Eddy, I have no idea how to handle any of this shit!"
Eddy glanced around him again and then he put his arm around Todd. 
"Come here, mate. Come on."
To his surprise Todd gave in and put his head on Eddy's shoulder. Suddenly he was crying for real, the sobs coming quick and fast.
"Oh, mate." Eddy whispered. "Come on, let's get you out of this hallway. Come on."
He knew where to go, of course. There was that toilet right there at the end. He pulled Todd into it and closed the door behind them. Todd sat down on the closed toilet seat, buried his face in his hands and sobbed. Eddy crouched down beside him and put his hand on Todd's knee. 
"I'm sorry, Eddy." Todd groaned between sobs. "God, now I'm making a spectacle of myself as well."
Eddy rubbed the knee quietly. 
"No spectacle. It's just me here. No one will ever know. It's fine."

Eddy had no idea how long they had been there, but slowly Todd calmed a little. And eventually he looked up at him, his eyes red, but some of the normal humour in them was restored. 
"I can't believe you caught me looking."
Eddy smiled. 
"Sorry."
Todd shook his head and wiped his cheeks with both hands. "Nah. But fuck, Eddy, what am I going to do? I can't tell him. He'll never see me the same way again."
Eddy blinked at his great friend. He was right, of course. Ian and Todd had been best friends for so long, long before Eddy even knew them. Ian was straight. How would a friendship ever come back from that? 
"I feel like such a loser." Todd said miserably. 
"You're not a loser. You can't help who you like, Todd."
"I just have to wait. Wait until this goes away. Until I meet some cute guy who'll sweep me off my feet."
Eddy only realised now it had been ages since Todd had had a boyfriend. And he hadn't even noticed, really. Now he understood why. 
"I've never kept a secret from Ian. It feels so wrong, Eddy."
Eddy rubbed Todd's knee and thought back of the time when he was in love with Brett, and thought no one would ever be allowed to know. 
That had been hell. And he had been just a kid. And it hadn't even lasted long. 
"I'm so sorry, Todd." he said feebly. "I wish I could fix it for you."
"I really love him. And it's just so stupid. Maybe I've always loved him? I don't know. Maybe I just didn't realise." Todd shook his head brusquely, his beach bum curls shaking from side to side. "I'm so screwed, Eddy."
"It'll be okay." Eddy said, even if he really couldn't be sure. "One way or another, it'll be okay."
Todd got up with a shock and turned on the tap, splashing water in his face. 
"We'd better get back, though. I'm already going to get a whole bunch of questions I don't know how to answer as it is."
Suddenly he turned around and looked Eddy straight in the eyes. His handsome face was already lightening, his blue eyes already a lot less red. 
"Thanks, though. It means a lot that you came after me."
"Of course I did, what do you mean. You know I care about you."
"Yeah. Thanks."
Todd pushed the door open and Eddy followed him back up the stairs.