Andante con Brio

CIII

It had taken him forever to get to sleep, of course, so he would have happily thrown the telephone out of the window as its shrill ring kept going on, and on, forcing him in the end to open his eyes and pick it up. 
Who the fuck was calling him this early on a Saturday anyway? And why hadn't he set a better, more gentle ring tone? 
"Todd? What the fuck, man, why are you even up?" he croaked. 
"We got the house, Eddy."
Wait, what? 
He suddenly found himself sitting up in bed, his eyes wide open. 
"Are you pranking me?"
"No." Todd's voice was soft, and full of something he couldn't quite make out over the phone. "Of course not, I wouldn't wake you for nothing. Eddy, we got the house."
He blinked, once, twice, three times and then he jumped up.
"Oh my God." 
"I know, right? We can move in next month."
"Oh my God."
Todd grinned. 
"Yeah. I called Brett already, I'm sure he'll be on the line soon enough."
"I... I don't know what to say."
Todd grinned again. 
"That's cool. I'll see you later for the rehearsal, yeah?"
"Okay."

Before he knew it he had thrown on some jeans and he thundered down the stairs. 
"Mum! Mum! We got the house!"
He skidded into the kitchen without any preamble.
"We got the house! We can move in next month!"
Somewhere deep down he knew that he had felt ambivalent about this, somewhere he knew he should tell her slowly, calmly, but that setting on the metronome had been lost right now. She turned around and he hugged her tight. Then he let her go and half-danced around the kitchen. 
"Can you believe it?"
Her whistful smile brought him back down to earth with a crash. 
"That is great news, Eddy. I'm very happy for you."
Shit. 
He was an idiot, he was such an idiot. In his enthusiasm he had now gone and hurt his mum, hadn't he? He should have waited, he should have talked to Brett first, walked her to it, like David had said that time. He should have been calm. 
"Mama." he said softly as he took her hand. "I'm sorry. Are you okay?"
"Of course!" she said very suddenly as she put her hand on his and subtly made him let her go, her guards back up as high as they could possibly go, the whistful smile carefully put away. "Why would I not be okay, Eddy."
He nodded and looked down at his feet for a moment. He felt deflated now, especially because he could see she wanted to be happy for him. But she wasn't happy, was she? 
"I'm going to miss you so much, mama, but I'll come here all the time, I really will, to eat here and see you."
She smiled once, but her eyes were flat. "Of course you will, Eddy."

He wanted to do something, hug her again, or even tell her he would stay with her, he would cancel the house, anything to get those flat eyes shiny again, like they had been when she had heard him playing the Mendelssohn.  But he knew she would never let him. And he could hear his phone ringing from upstairs now, undoubtedly with an excited Brett on the other end of the line. 
God, why was everything so complicated? 
"Go." she said softly, already turning to the stove. "I'm making hotpot for dinner."
He brushed his hand over her shoulder once and turned around. 
Fuck. What could he say? What could he do, to make it all good again? 
"Thanks, mum." he said slowly, his voice hoarse and quiet. "I'll be home on time."
His heart was as heavy as his steps as he walked up the stairs and into his room to call Brett back.