The Last Spring [Editing is in the Process]

41. Facing the Truth

"How did you know about him?" I was still in disbelief and Kiyong let out a wry smile.

He crossed his arms in front of his chest while staring at me. He judged me with his gorgeous eyes and flashed a half-smile. As if my question was a lame joke to him, he didn't bother to answer.

I was so nervous; it wasn't part of the plan. It shouldn't have been like this. I had ruined everything. I had lost my confidence to speak. I rarely saw him angry. He was mostly very kind, thoughtful, and mature.

But this time. I knew that I was at fault. Didn't try to find any excuse. I let out a heavy sigh and spoke to him slowly, "I'm sorry," I started to sob.

Kiyong kept his mouth shut and was staring at me with mixed expressions that I failed to decipher. I didn't know what those expressions mean. But I could feel that he was disappointed.

"I really am sorry," I hated myself for being so shameful right now. He knew that I hadn't fully given my love for him yet he was willing to wait and gave me space to heal my broken heart until the moment he thought I was ready.

He proposed to me, he expressed his sincerity to take our love to a higher level, yet I was the one who wasn't ready for him. He waited for me for a year, patiently let me healed, but once the past that I had never been able to erase from my stupid brain came back. Bringing back all the pain in the past, so selfishly trying to calm everything back. I was the one who incapable to resist the temptation, and I had committed a great sin.

I was about to speak again, but Kiyong took a deep breath and said, "I can't lie that you disappoint me, Hyeyoon. You're being dishonest to me, I don't like it," his tone was firm.

I was speechless and my lips trembled. I stayed silent and heard everything he said quietly. I lowered my face and let my tears ran down my cheeks heavily. I was too ashamed to look at him right now. I had no idea how far he knew the truth. And I didn't know if he would be able to forgive me after this.

In between my sobs, I tried really hard to let out my words clearly. I saw him clenching his jaw stiffly. He tried to control his emotion and looked at me sharply, "I'm sorry," I said weakly. "I really am sorry. I don't know what to say, and I don't want to make an excuse, but I'm sorry. I do love you, Oppa, I hope you can see that,"

He gritted his teeth and his voice came out cold and stoic, "but you love him, too, Hyeyoon! Don't deny it," he slapped me literally with his words. I was left speechless and dumbfounded. I couldn't counter his statement. He was throwing facts that I hardly denied all along, he even knew it more than me.

With hurt in his voice, he rebuked, "If you want to go back to him, go ahead, I never force you to stay with me if your heart says otherwise, Hyeyoon. Don't force yourself to stay at a place that you are unsure of yourself," he paused, but I let him finished his speech. "You're tormenting yourself,"

It was the first time I saw him like this. I still couldn't look up at him. My heart hurt, my head hurt, I couldn't think properly. I felt extremely guilty for Kiyong. I knew that everything was my fault and he had the very right to be upset right now. I listened patiently as he poured all his emotion, I had to bear with it.

He ran his hand through his hair frustratingly and finally took a deep breath just to breathe out again slowly. There was a moment of pause as none of us had utter anything. Kiyong was a great man. He was kind, mature, charismatic, and very thoughtful. I had let him down and deceived him. I was guilty.

"Hyeyoon," his voice softened. I raised my head slightly to see him, and he was now facing me as he had calmed down. Though there was still a hint of hurt in his eyes, he told me, "You know I can't bear to see you crying, but you also need to know that you're at fault, right, Hyeyoon?" Kiyong was asking me and I nodded. I didn't deny anything.