I'll Make This Feel Like Home {l.s}

27

Trigger warning in comments

I pull into Harry's driveway and run inside.

"Harry, you still there?"

The line is silent. I hang up the phone and start calling his name into the house, but receive no response.

"Harry," I shout into the seemingly empty house.

I run into his bedroom, but don't see him anywhere. Then I look over to the closed bathroom door and see light beaming from underneath the door.

I open the door and see him kneeling in front of the toilet. He looks incredibly pale and when he looks at me I notice his blood-shot eyes.

I rush over to him and pull him in for a hug. His tears are still silently streaming down his face.

"I got you, you're going to be alright."

After a few moments, I straighten up and kiss his forehead. I stand back up and look at the bathroom sink.

Blood.

I then look to his wrists and see thick white bandages wrapped around them, with a hint of blood beginning to seep through them.

"Oh Haz-" is all I can get out before I start to cry as well. I kneel back down to wrap my arms around his shuddering body.

After squeezing him and rubbing his back for awhile, I finally manage to ask, "Why?"

He just shakes his head at me, then quickly leans back over the toilet and begins to throw up. I quickly push his hair out of his face and hold it back. all the while I'm rubbing his back as he gets sick into the toilet.

I notice that the room smells strongly of alcohol, and get an idea of what's going on.

"Harry were you drinking? You know you can't do that. You shouldn't be doing any of this," I say, looking down to his wrists.

"Doesn't matter," he finally says, bluntly.

"It's not good for you. Trust me, I know."

"I said it doesn't matter. It was fine last time."

"Yes it does, Harry. It matters to me, your friends, and everyone else that loves you as much as we do."

"He doesn't."

"Who?"

He shakes his head and I can see he's holding back more tears.

"It's okay, tell me when you're ready. Do you think you might be sick again or do you want to get off the floor?"

"I'll be okay," he says and I help him up.

"Wanna lay down, rest your eyes? It's a bit late after all."

He nods and we walk towards back into the bedroom. I help him change into more comfortable clothes and lay him down. I fix the bed neatly on top of him, then turn off his lights.

"Lou?"

"Yes love?"

"Can you hold me please?"

I get under the covers and pull him in close to me. I can feel how sweaty he is and smell alcohol on his breath with a hint of vomit.

I don't mind though, because I know that he needs me right now. I'm not sure why, but hopefully he can tell me soon.

I wake back up to the sound of Harry's door opening. I look up and see Anne walking towards the bed.

"You boys good," she asks in a barely audible whisper.

"I can fill you in when it's morning if that's okay. What time is it?"

"One a.m. Should I be worried?"

I don't know what to say. I would rather let her get a good nights rest, but I think my long pause just worries her more.

"Do you think you could just tell me now?"

I nod and carefully get out of the bed, being sure to not wake Harry.

"Let's go downstairs," I say, nodding my head to Harry.

We sit at the kitchen table and I decide to start with, "So I don't actually know what's wrong."

"Well what do you know? Because he sent me kind of a strange text earlier. I didn't think much of it until I saw your car in the driveway when I got home."

"What did the text say?"

"Something like, 'take your time at work Mum. I'm just going to sleep now. Long day, see you in the morning."

"What time did he say that?"

"I think around 8, which seemed too early for him to go to sleep during the weekend. What time did he tell you to come here?"

"Well he didn't necessarily tell me to come. But I got here around 10:30."

"Did you just come over here then like as a surprise or what?"

"Well I was out of town earlier in the day visiting a friend. And on the way home I went to call Harry, but he didn't pick up the first few times. After a little while he calls me back, but he doesn't seem like himself. I hear him crying and I try to ask him what's going on, but he doesn't tell me. I tell him that I'm going to come over and he says okay."

I continue to tell her about how I found him when I got to the house. I left out the alcohol and blood part and just said that I think he puked from so much crying. I figured he could tell her that part if he wanted her to know. Honestly I just didn't want to worry her anymore than she already is.

"Well thank you for coming when you did," her voice breaks, then says, "I don't know what would have happened if you didn't. I don't want to seem dramatic but it's hard when I can't be there for him. Working in a hospital used to give me unruly hours but it's getting better now at least with the promotion."

I see a tear roll down her face, and I pull her in for a hug. Seems like a common theme recently; me comforting people.

"You should get some rest now, Anne. You've probably had a long day."

"You're right, you too though."

I go over to my shoes and Anne says, "Are you sure you don't want to stay here tonight? It's almost two in the morning."

"I have to go home to Lottie, my sister. I haven't been home long enough to to see her this weekend. Not even sure if my dad is home so I better at least check in on her."

"Okay I understand. Drive safe darling."

I head out after giving her one last smile and telling her to give Harry a hug for me.

To no one's surprise, my dad is not there when I get back.

I go up to Lottie's room and find her soundly asleep in her bed.

I walk to my own room, knowing that I'm not going to get a lot of sleep. Nonetheless, I send Harry one final message before drifting off.
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Word Count: 1148