/𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒\ [𝒔. 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌]

𝟏.𝟙𝟘.𝟤

"unbeing dead isn't being alive." ~ E.E. Cummings

~april 1972~ (continued)

Narcissa Black hesitated outside the door to the library. She couldn't remember the last time she'd gone inside it. She knew in her first year or two at Hogwarts she'd been excited to study and spent as much time as possible with her older sister in the library, but as she got older, the feeling faded. It was around her third year when she started hanging out with the older Slytherins, sneaking out to the Forbidden Forest to smoke and cause trouble. Since then, grades hadn't mattered as much to her. Finally, Narcissa let out a deep sigh and pulled the library door open, slipping inside and taking in her surroundings quickly. Her head felt strangely clear after what felt like months of constant hangover. She hadn't gone out partying since that night with Lucius Malfoy, and she was almost starting to think Andromeda had been right to scold her for her habits all this time.

When Andromeda spotted her sister approaching, she set her quill down and looked up in awe. "What the hell d'you think you're doing?" she asked, her voice sarcastic as an amused smile slipped over her face.

"What's it look like?" Narcissa slid into a seat across from Andromeda.

Andromeda shifted and closed her notebook, giving Narcissa her full attention. "Well, I would guess studying, but I know you better."

"Mhmm, I'm actually here to talk about Lucius."

Andromeda snorted in an I-should've-known sort of way. "Well, if you came as far as to venture into the library to tell me about it, it must be important. What's up?" Narcissa hesitated for a long time, twisting her hands together and staring down at the table. Andromeda eyed her carefully. It was rare that her sister ever took anything this seriously. "Cissy? What's going on? Is it about... Lucius?"

"I think I like him," Narcissa whispered.

"What?"

Narcissa took a deep breath and met Andromeda's eyes with a steely stare. "I think I like him. I mean, really like him, 'Dromeda. Not like one of my old crushes when I was little, and not like I just want to sleep with him. I actually like being around him... you know?"

"Narcissa..." Andromeda's tone was weary and warning. She knew Lucius the best out of the three sisters. They were the same age and their parents always seemed to expect them to be closer than they were. Because of this, Andromeda knew exactly the kind of person Lucius was, and it wasn't the type she wanted her little sister dating. "Are you sure this isn't just because of that night-?"

"Yes, 'Dromeda, I'm sure. Trust me, after that night, I didn't want to ever see Lucius again. But listen, we started talking again recently and he's nice. He's like- like remember when you told me how you feel around Ted Tonks?" Andromeda nodded her head. "Well, it's like that-"

"No, it's not," Andromeda interrupted, suddenly defiant. Her hand instinctively went to her stomach, which was beginning to grow- not enough to be noticeable, but enough for Andromeda to feel it. "It's nothing like that."

Narcissa furrowed her brow, unsure as to why her sister was getting this worked up. "Yes it is. I mean-"

"Wait- are you pregnant?" Andromeda's eyes widened and she leaned forward furtively. "Cissy, you can tell me, you know."

"No!" Narcissa cried, far too loudly. A few heads turned. She lowered her voice. "I just mean I've been hanging out with him more and I think I'm starting to actually catch feelings for him. 'Dromeda, this is is big- I've never felt like this about anybody before."