/𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒\ [𝒔. 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌]

𝟑.𝟚.𝟣

"it might be that to surrender to happiness was to accept defeat, but it was a defeat better than many victories." ~ W. Somerset Maugham

~august 1973~

Artemis was at her mother's house once again. She stood in the doorway of her old bedroom with her trunk in one hand and Athena's cage in the other, her mother hovering behind her. "I tried not to change it too much, but when Alfie moved in, some of his things had to go in here and-"

"It's fine," Artemis said quietly. She stepped into the room and set her trunk down on the floor and Athena's cage on the windowsill. "It's better than Uncle Gregory's place."

Jane hesitated in the doorway. "Do you... want to talk... about anything that happened there?"

"No," Artemis said without hesitation.

Jane waited for Artemis to elaborate, but no more words came. She was simply standing motionless in the middle of the room, staring around like she was seeing it for the first time. "Okay," Jane said slowly. "Well, dinner'll be ready soon, so I'll call you down then."

Artemis nodded and waited for her mother's footsteps to recede down the hallway before sighing and sitting down on her bed. She'd expected to feel overjoyed or at lease consumed by relief on her first night back at her mum's, but she didn't feel any different. The crushing weight of being somewhere she didn't belong still weighed so heavily on her it made her want to sink deep into the mattress of her bed and never come up. She didn't fit at her aunt and uncle's house, but at the same time, she didn't fit here either. It felt like she could wander all over the earth and never find a place she could be truly happy at.

Then, it hit her. Hogwarts. Hogwarts, where she had Remus and Lily and Mary and James to keep her company. Hogwarts, with Sirius to constantly infuriate her and the endless chess games with Peter. That was where she belonged. That was where she'd been able to find some semblance of happiness. She just needed to get through this summer. Then, she'd be back. No matter what happened in the next two months, she'd be back.

Artemis went down to dinner after unpacking her things and sorting through her old stack of her dad's books for a few minutes. Out of anything in the house, the books might be what Artemis missed most. Down in the kitchen, Jane was just finishing up dinner with her boyfriend, Alfie. "Go on and have a seat in the dining room," Jane called over her shoulder. "We'll be out in a minute."

Artemis nodded and headed into the dining room to sit at the table. It was odd to do so. Back when Artemis lived at home, she and her mother usually ate at the kitchen bar. Now, the dining room looked well used. It was clean, but there were little traces of her mother and Alfie's life everywhere. Cookbooks she'd never seen before that she assumed were Alfie's lay on the edge of the table and there were a few extra pictures on the mantle on the wall. Artemis stepped forward to examine them. They were of Jane and Alfie in different settings; at the beach, in the woods, cuddled up together on an armchair. They looked so happy, Artemis choked up a little. While she'd been fighting for her life at her aunt and uncle's house, her mother was the happiest she'd seen her since thing went wrong with her father.

Finally, Jane and Alfie joined Artemis in the dining room and they all took their seats. "We made steak and ale pie," Alfie said, setting the dish down on the wooden table. "It's my specialty."

"Smells good," murmured Artemis, who was absolutely starving. She dished some out onto her plate and dug in, forgetting all of her troubles for an instant.

"How's Percy?" her mother asked, bring Artemis crashing back to reality.

She looked up. She hadn't heard from Percy since school, and even there, he pretended she didn't exist. "He's fine," she lied. She knew it was best not to worry her mother.

"Hm. Last I heard from him was when he told me he was going to his friend's for the summer. He... he worries me." Jane's eyes misted over as she spoke. "Ever since Andrew died, he's gotten more and more distant..."

That's because he's evil, Artemis wanted to say to her mother. Instead, she shrugged and set her fork down, turning to Alfie instead. "So, what do you do? For a living, I mean."

Alfie looked taken aback, but he set his own fork down and cleared his throat. "I'm a policeman. Or- I used to be a policeman. I'm... unemployed... at the moment."

"Ahhh," said Artemis, her heart sinking. She'd hoped Alfie was at least bringing in some money for her mum.

"But I've still got the connections, so if you're ever in trouble, just call me up," Alfie said with a twinge of a smile.

Artemis laughed, but not at his joke. As if a muggle policeman could help with any of the troubles in her life. "Yeah, I'll keep that in mind," she said drily. She knew that if Percy was here, he'd make some snide remark about Alife's lack of work, so she made it a point to keep her mouth shut.

"Things are a bit tight right now," Jane explained, reading her daughter's mind, "But we make do. Money doesn't matter when you're in love." She gave Alfie an almost simpering smile and he reached across the table to take her hand.

Artemis grimaced. She had countless memories of dinners at this same table with her dad and her brother, when her parents would discuss politics and matters of interest openly with their children in great detail. Artemis liked to think that those dinners taught her more than primary school ever did. The sad truth hit her that she'd never have a family dinner like that again. She'd never hear her dad rail fanatically against the conservative prime minister and her mother, just as animated, shout him down claiming that the policies in place were really helping the working class. In those moments, Artemis would catch Percy's eye and he'd give her a knowing smile, listening to his parent's words just as closely as she was. Percy had always been smart in a logical way. He'd side with his mother, seeing politics from a pragmatic standpoint. Artemis sided with her dad mostly because she was young and she looked up to him in every way, but also because she liked how passionate he got about his opinions. She wanted to be like that.

"You play any sports?" Alfie asked, drawing Artemis out of her head.

"No," she said shortly. "No, I'm not really big on sports."

Alfie nodded. "What sports do they have at your boarding school?"

Artemis caught her mother's eye and saw her shake her head ever so slightly. Alfie didn't know she was a witch. "Ah, you know," Artemis stammered, wracking her brain. "The usual ones."

"You should play rugby," Alfie suggested. "You've got the build for it."

She shrugged. "Yeah, I'll think about that."

After dinner, Artemis helped clear the table and then offered to help with the dishes, but her mother rejected the offer. "Alfie and I can get it," she said kindly. "We don't mind. Why don't you go get ready for bed?"

Artemis nodded and headed towards the stairs, but the 'we' in the statement wasn't lost on her. The truth of the matter was, she didn't have a place in this house anymore. She didn't think she had a place anywhere in her mother's life anymore. Why would she? Andrew was dead and Percy was estranged, so why wouldn't Jane move on with someone who could make her happy? Even if Alfie was rather boring, at least he could make Jane smile in a way Artemis hadn't seen in years. They weren't a family anymore. Artemis didn't belong there anymore, and that was that.