Call Me Noona

Chapter 55 - Crash and Burn (Tissue Warning)

I felt like I had been punched in the gut. All the air left my lungs. I could not catch my breath. The word hung in the air like a rotten stench. "Rejected?" he repeated into the phone. His face was full of confusion and pain, as I am sure mine was. He was speaking to Choi JiWon at the adoption agency. We had been anxiously awaiting their call, but I never expected this. "Why?" he continued, "why are you rejecting us? We did everything right. We did everything you told us to do. We spent hours filling out forms, interviewing, answering your ridiculous questions. Tell me why?" there was anger building in his voice. I was paralyzed and still struggling to comprehend what was happening.

Min walked to the couch where I had just collapsed. He took my hands after he put the phone on speaker and laid it on the table. Ms. Choi sounded cold and emotionless. "You were rejected because we do not feel you are the best candidates for adoption. Your lifestyle is not up to our standards."

"What do you mean our 'lifestyle'? Do you mean my career with Monsta X? I won't be touring again for some time. As I explained, we have started our own company and I will be home every night. And Sunny will be an amazing mother. Her schedule at work is flexible most of the time. Being available and spending time with our child will not be an issue. We do not live a loud life. Please explain how you came to this decision because we are very confused."

I had begun to catch my breath and was able to process thoughts now that the initial shock had passed. We were looking at each other while she spoke, each seeking comfort from the other. I was holding back the tears that threatened to flood my face. I needed to be strong for a few more moments while we got answers. He squeezed my hands and rubbed his thumbs over my clenched knuckles.

"Well, if I must get specific," she sighed, "we feel that Mrs. Lee is not suitable. The tabloids are full of stories of her and Melody Reign. The type of person that would hang around someone with her reputation... well, I... um, we don't believe that is the proper environment for a child."

Now I was angry. "Excuse me? What..." Min squeezed my hands tighter and shook his head. He could tell I was about to let loose on her, and he also knew I was about to make things worse by doing so. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I nodded to let him know that I was calm.

"Ms. Choi, first of all, that is completely unfair to Sunny to judge her because of Melody. Second, we are not aware of these tabloid articles you are speaking of. To our knowledge, there was one article, by a trash magazine, that wrote about the girls when we were in LA. Melody and I did an OST together and we attended the premier with her. They went shopping," he paused, calculating his next words. "Are you certain there is no other agenda at work here?"

"Mr. Lee, just what are you implying? The final decision has been made. You are rejected. You may file an appeal if you like, and the board will reexamine your case. Thank you and have a good day." She hung up before either of us could say anything else. Min began cursing at the dead line.

He stood and threw his fists in the air out of frustration. I was still reeling and felt lost. I kept hearing that word echo in my ears and it sounded more nightmarish each time. "Wh...what do we do now?" I could barely get the words out. I felt pain pushing the anger aside only to settle in the pit of my stomach. Tears began falling. I pulled my knees against my chest and hugged my legs. I searched his face as he sat in front of me.

I could see that he was fighting back tears and that made it worse. I lost what little restraint I had and broke down. My body was wracked with sobs. I could not control it any more than I could control the distant rumble of thunder outside. Neither of us could speak, but we each knew what the other was feeling. We were devastated and inconsolable.

Gradually the tears subsided, and we just sat, holding each other. We were on the couch and I was basically curled up into a ball against him. We fell asleep like that, exhausted from hours of weeping. The next morning, we awoke to angry, darkened skies and swollen faces. The stormy weather reflected our mood. We didn't speak at first, but he did kiss my forehead and give me a weak little smile. I tried to give him one back, but I am not sure I pulled it off.