Marvel One-Shots

Quip Workshop (Peter Parker x Reader)

Your best friend Peter Parker is Spider-Man. If that isn't crazy I don't know what is. There are major perks to being the best friend of a superhero. Like making up quips to say to villains. It was all your idea. Instead of just booming and powing why not say something funny while you're at it?

"Okay so how about this, you say 'Show me what you got!' and then before they can react you hit them and then say, 'Better yet, I'll show you!'"

Peter was clutching his sides because they were aching so much. For the past hour you had been saying the silliest catchphrases known to mankind. At one point you were just saying onamonapias. You wanted to take full advantage of this newfound ability your friend had. You told him that all the best superheroes had cool catchphrases and witty remarks.

"I swear they can't come up with that stuff right then and there!" Peter argued. "When you're fighting it's hard to concentrate on anything other than the villain!"

"Yes! Exactly why we're practicing them now! Quit stalling! I just found a website with the best quips ever used in comics."

"You're insufferable." Peter threw his hands up in mock surrender.

"I like to think of myself as persistent and energetic."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." He rolled his eyes but you whipped your head towards him.

"You got that from Tony didn't you? Or one of the other Avengers. I know I've heard that one before." You return to your phone frantically searching the catchphrase in the search bar.

"No, as a matter of fact, that's a very common remark."

You weren't even listening to Peter anymore and were fully focused on finding the perfect thing for him to say. At least you were until Peter snatched your phone from your hands. "Hey, what was that for? I was using that, ya know."

"We're taking a break from this. You're going to start seeing onamonapias when you do stuff."

"That would be so cool! Like living in a comic!"

Peter rolled his eyes again and put your phone in his jean pocket. He shot a web at the TV remote and switched it on. "Oh would you look at that! Fresh Prince of Bel-Air is on!"

"Fine, we'll leave it alone for now."

You hopped onto the couch and watched as the show started. The theme song started and an idea popped into your head. You turned to Peter in a flash and clutched his arm. "I have another one! So you could say, 'Looks like I found a guy that's up to no good,' and when you finish him you could say, 'You won't be making any more trouble in my neighborhood!'"

"That was the worst one yet!" he broke out into ringing laughter and so did you.

As Peter said you left the quips alone for the rest of the night. A few days later you were walking to school scrolling through your phone and saw a trending video of Spider-Man's/Peter's latest fight, which was the day before.

You hit play on the video and watched as masked Peter swung onto the scene. The area they were fighting in was a construction zone and there were metal bars littering the ground. Peter rolled onto the dirt where the villain was running away.

He stopped in front of the villain and said, "Show me what you got!" and then before the villain did anything else picked up one of the metal bars and hit them in the head with it. Your jaw dropped as Peter finished the second line, "Better yet, I'll show you!"

You squealed, knowing that was one of the quips you suggested. He was acting like such a diva the other day about it but he ended up using one! You walked to school with more pep in your step, eager to see Peter.

You put on a cool charade as you walked up to his locker. Before he could get any words out you kissed him on the cheek. "You're a huge dork Peter." He stared at your back, dumbfounded and blushing as you walked to your first class.