Marvel One-Shots

Nightmares (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

No matter what he did or what he tried they wouldn't go away. His past haunted him like a ghost, but so much worse, so much more real.

All the years he had spent as the Winter Soldier still affected him. He was still holding himself responsible for those terrible acts he committed, even though he was brainwashed. He shut himself off from the world and barely accepted any help. It was a struggle trying to convince Bucky to go see his therapist. He didn't like her and he didn't think it was necessary. A waste of time if you will. He knew that he had to go because of his probation terms, but he'd rather stay at home.

You didn't push him too much because it wasn't your life, it was his. You weren't there when he was killing people under the command of Hydra. You were with him now though. You could change his past, but what you could do was assure him that he wasn't that person anymore. That that person wasn't him.

It took a lot for him to let you in. You met him through Steve, who thought that you could be good for him. He was unwilling at first and barely paid attention when you two went on the first couple of dates. After a while you flat out told him that if he didn't care then you would stop

meeting with him. That got his attention. He finally started trying and putting in effort and he didn't regret it. That was a year ago. Now you were living together in an apartment across from a kind Asian man that would eat with you both often.

You loved Bucky more than words could describe. No matter how tough he appeared, he was truly a softy on the inside. He loved animals, especially your cat Prince. Every time Buck was on the couch or lying in bed Prince would climb up there too and cuddle with him. Bucky couldn't get enough of it.

The not-so-glamorous part of being with the prior Winter Soldier were his nightmares. They didn't bother you at all, or the fact that he would wake up with a jolt and absolutely frantic. You wouldn't trade him for the world and you knew he couldn't help it. They happened often. At least once or twice a week.

His heart would start racing and his chest would rise and fall at a quick pace. He would start shaking, and that was usually when you woke up. You knew better than to try and wake him up because it was possible he might startle and hit you. It had only happened once and it was thankfully with his real hand, not the metal one. He had punched you in the shoulder, and it only left a light bruise that was gone in a couple days, but it was enough that he insisted on sleeping on the couch for a month.

The time that you had to sit there and wait for him to wake up was heartbreaking. He had been through so much and was so alone. Steve was gone and all he had left were you and Sam.

Bucky would start clutching at the sheets and turning his head, brows furrowed. Soon after that he would

jolt up and look around. You let him take a second to get his bearings, and as soon as he realized where he was at that you were right next to him he would melt into you. Sometimes he would cry, sometimes he would just stay quiet. On very very rare occasions he would tell you what happened. He didn't want to scare you or make you think of him any differently and that was his reasoning. You never pushed him to share. You left that for his therapist.

You would hold him in your arms, rubbing his back and kissing the top of his head while you whispered to him. "It's okay Bucky." Kiss. "You're home and you're safe. No one can hurt you." Kiss. "You are James Buchanan Barnes, born in 1917."

You told him facts, and things that made him happy. You talked about the last date you had gone on or talked about the show you two were currently watching. He would nuzzle into you and hold you as close as he could, listening and lightly laughing once he had calmed down. It was times like those that reminded him of why he loved you so much.

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