Children's Games (a Sebaciel Fanfic)

Part 52

Depositing Ciel gently in his own bed, Sebastian knelt before him, slipping off his shoes, preparing to dress him for bed. As he reached for the garter wrapped around Ciel's slender, pale thigh, the young Lord recoiled, scooting back a little on the bed. His arms still wrapped around Beatrice who sat quietly in his lap, resting her head under his chin, Ciel bit his lip, watching Sebastian intently. The butler looked up at him and placed his hands on his own knee, waiting for his orders.

"I can change on my own... leave me a nightshirt. See to my milk..." Sebastian nodded and stood, raising Ciel's chin with a single finger as he did so, forcing their eyes to meet. Crimson eyes usually so fierce gazed at him with a softened glow, somehow kind and surprisingly affectionate.

"Would you like mine?" Ciel thought for a second, then nodded shyly. Sebastian smiled indulgently and slipped off his tailcoat and vest, unbuttoning is shirt. The bluenette watched him, stroking the cat's fur absently, eyes fixed on him. "Perhaps a snack, with your milk?" Ciel nodded again and reached out a hand for his butler's shirt once it slipped from his finely muscled shoulders. "And Beatrice?" The cat turned to look at Sebastian, meowing quietly, sniffing at Ciel's chin until he rested it atop her head again.

"She can stay." Sebastian smiled and nodded, privately happy to see they had taken to one another so well.

"Anything else I might bring you?" Ciel thought about it, then shook his head. "Very good, Bocchan. I'll have your snack right away." He smiled down at the cat. "Beatrice?" She meowed loudly. "You stay here, take care of our Master. He needs you." She meowed again, as though acknowledging the order and pranced a circle around Ciel's lap, lying down, her head resting on his knee. Ciel looked down at her, surprised by her response.

"She really listens to you..." Petting her fur gently, Ciel looked up at Sebastian, a little confused by her compliance, when he had always assumed that cats were uncaring, disobedient little jerks.

"She knows you need her. I'll be as quick as I can." Sebastian bowed and turned toward the door, only to stop when he heard his name.

"Wait... Sebastian?"

"Yes, my Lord?"

"Bring something for Beatrice too?" Sebastian smiled and nodded, placing a hand over his bare chest as he bowed again.

"Yes, my Lord."

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When Sebastian had left the room Ciel sighed quietly and hugged Beatrice again before ushering her off his lap. He unclipped his garters and slipped them off, along with the stockings and tossing them into a pile near the chair by the bed. He struggled out of the dress and threw it unceremoniously to the floor in the same general direction and began the struggle of removing the cuffs from around his wrists. Becoming frustrated rather quickly, he popped one of the cufflinks and sent it flying across the room, but after what felt like an eternity, he freed himself from the cuffs and collar. He sat naked on his bed, fingering the shirt Sebastian had left him, the one that still held a trace of his scent. Beatrice stood beside him and mewled quietly.

"I feel bad about it." He told her softly as he stroked the fabric in his hands. "He looked at me like I hurt his feelings... like he has feelings." Ciel held the shirt to his face and inhaled deeply, the faint smell of wood smoke mingled with the intoxicating scent of Sebastian's cologne. Beatrice meowed loudly, rubbing against Ciel's elbow and the young Earl blushed, rolling his eyes at her. "Shut up. I like how he smells." He paused, surprised at his own earnest confession, and looked at Beatrice to see if she noticed. She blinked at him and he shook his head, dismissing the idea of a cat understanding him. Feeling secure with the idea that Beatrice could not understand him and could not repeat anything he told her for that very reason, he continued. "He's never looked at me like that before. I mean... that never happened before either... but he looked... like he felt hurt... or... sad or... something." She purred her response and sat down beside him as he slipped the oversized shirt on over his narrow shoulders, swallowed by the mess of white fabric. "And then before he left just now... I don't know... maybe I did hurt his feelings. I don't really remember what I said to him..." He pulled it closed around him and crawled towards the middle of the bed, turning back towards the door, and lying down on his belly. After a moment of thought, he grabbed Sebastian's blanket and threw it over himself and Beatrice, whispering to her. "Is that the way he looked at the real Beatrice?" She laid down beside him, paws dangling over the edge of the bed and meowed quietly, purring. Ciel watched her for a moment before wrapping an arm around her, pulling her close and laying his head down beside her, both waiting for Sebastian to return.

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Still in a state of half-undress, Sebastian busied himself in the kitchen, working quickly to prepare milk for both his little kittens. This incident was going to be a messy, complicated one to repair, but he was confident in his ability to do so. It was not the first time he had overstepped his bounds or overestimated his Master's abilities... but this was different somehow. When he saw his pitiful little Master there, bawling and freshly traumatized he had been surprised by his own reaction. In his fantasy, the moment was a prize, one that often brought him to climax as he lay awake in the darkness, all the manor sleeping around him. In reality, he had felt a twinge of shame, followed by a wave of guilt that washed over him, and had yet to dissipate. He stopped, looking down into the pot of milk on the stove, lost in thought for a moment.

Guilt. That was new. Not new, but he had forgotten that deep pain that guilt brought with it. Knowing he was the cause of those crimson tears had given him an ache in his chest, and he had felt what he could only assume to be his heart drop to his knees. How long had it been since he had felt that pain? He sighed, absently stirring a little honey and cinnamon into the pot. No, this was not going to be easy to repair, but if he danced carefully, he could avoid the obstacles and things should smooth themselves over in time... he hoped. As long as he didn't feel that ache again, that intolerable feeling of guilt. He clicked off the stove and poured the milk, plating a few cookies and a saucer of milk alongside it and made his way back to his Master's room.