Tessa Chapter 1

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This is the second book to "Before He Lied"

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⚠️SENSITIVE WORDS⚠️

I walk down the cold city regretting ever coming here, I should have gone to Harvard with Nick and just accept my fate instead of trying to be something I'm not. I should have switched rooms as soon as I walked in to Hardin getting a fucking blow job, he's fucking disgusting..........I can't believe I let him kiss me, touch me............see my naked body........have sex. I feel so dirty and disgusting, I'm such a fucking idiot.

Did I really think he would change, that I could change him.

I can't believe I thought he actually loved me, that he cared about me. I let myself fall into his trap, I let myself be played. I hate him, I hate him more than Nick.

I just can't believe this is happening..............how did I let another man use me, how did I not realize that it was all fake...........none of it was real.

But it felt so real, when his lips touched mine butterflies danced in my stomach. When his eyes poured into mine I swear I saw heaven in them. And when his fingers grazed over my skin I felt heat and love and goosebumps...........when we made love and he promised me forever.........when he would hold me while we gave ourselves to each other..............how we did things I would never say out loud...................how every declaration of love was fake and every memory will forever be tainted with his betrayal.

I wanna cry, I wanna fall apart.

I wish I never met Hardin Scott.

I rather die than feel what I'm feeling, I feel like someone ripped my heart out of my chest. I can't stop crying, the tears keep coming. No matter how hard I try to pull myself together I can't, my whole life just fell apart and all the plans I had for Hardin and I will never happen. I never wanna see him ever again, I never wanna hear his voice or feel his touch or look into his eyes.

But the most fucked up part of all of this is that I am still in love with him.............I'm madly in love with that disgusting man.

He told them I was raped...........he said I was some raped girl...........I guess that's all I ever was to him.

...

Here I am walking in the fucking snow in the middle of night in the city alone, I'm in heels wearing this very short dress with no underwear while the snow falls. I can barely feel my toes and can barely see as my tears cloud my vision. I don't even know where I'm going, I've been walking for what feels like forever. I don't have my phone or anything...........I don't know where the hell im gonna go but it's certainly not back to that apartment of lies. I just hope I don't freeze out here.

...

After walking for a few more minutes my feet hands and legs go numb, this was such awful idea. I wrap my arms around myself and continue walking, suddenly a car pulls up next to me and stops. I wipe my face.

A small part of me hoped it was Hardin, when I get a closer look I see a Navy blue Rolls Royce. It's not him. The door opens and a familiar face walks out.

"Tessa?"

"Chris?"

It's Chris from the office.

"Are you ok? It's freezing outside and it's late, you're walking alone?" He questions.

I look down and attempt to pull my dress down, he's really dressed up. He is a navy tuxedo.

"Yeah.........it's been a long night." I say.

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