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Sometimes we didn't get answers from our thousand questions. Healing would be letting the wound open for a long time until it would close on its own.
"Overtime, Doc?" my assistant nurse asked. I didn't notice that it was already past my duty hours.
I shook my head. I decided to go home early. Nasanay akong nag-o-overtime kaya hindi ko namalayan ang oras.
Lumakad ako sa hallway ng ospital. The corridor was quiet, some visitors were waiting outside the ward and nurses were assisting their patients. Tumango ako sa clerk nang ngumiti ito sa akin bago ako mag-time-out.
Patungo ako sa exit pero tumabi ako dahil sa isang kumusyon. I heard a sob as nurses attend to a patient on the stretcher.
Abala ang paramedic sa pag-explain ng kondisyon ng pasyente habang itinutulak ang stretcher. Mabilis namang tumawag ang isang nurse ng emergency. Nasulyapan ko ang pasyente habang dumadaan sa harapan ko.
Batang babaeng duguan.
Mabilis akong lumapit at tumulong sa pagtulak patungong ER.
"Please, hang on there. M-Mommy is here."
Basag ang boses na iyon pero hindi ako puwedeng magkamali.
Bago ko malingon ay bumukas ang ER. Nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang mabilis itong inasikaso ng doctor at nurses na naghihintay.
Napatitig ako sa pinto ng ER.
Kawawa naman ang bata. Mukhang nasa edad siyam or sampu ito. Lumingon ako nang marinig ulit ang iyak ng babae. Nakaupo siya sa gilid. Nakatakip sa mukha ang mga palad habang umaalog ang balikat.
Umupo ako sa dulo upang bigyan siya ng privacy. Pagkaraan ng ilang minutong pag-iyak ay tumayo siya. Natulos ako sa kinauupuan nang makilala siya. Her hair was messy in a tight ponytail, her cheeks and nose were a bit red, but I couldn't be mistaken. I knew her very well that even in this distance I could recognize her.
"Maia," I whispered.
She stopped and turned. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
I stood and took a step closer. I couldn't blink even for once. Natatakot akong mawala siya sa paningin ko.
Today I finally accepted that she was the only love of my life but not in this lifetime. I wanted to move on. It had been ten years but today I was again trapped in a dream of her. I decided to bury our memories but my eyes betrayed me. Umiling ako. Maybe it was an illusion. Maybe I wasn't ready to let go but she seemed too real.
