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Scented Nostalgia ni MistyXavy, winner ng Dear You writing contest ng WattpadRomancePH
January 31, 2023
Hey there, my love.
Hmm, I still can't believe I stopped calling you like that, maybe for a month now.
Well, it ended because of you.
I mean, we were fine; we were good. Not until you refused to talk to me.
It was not too long ago when you messaged me, though. We were so happy to reconnect after losing the line for more than five or seven years.
I can't say that we caught up on the things we missed because you never opened up your past to me.
It's just funny how I can still remember your way of "manifesting" me. I found it cute. It made me feel butterflies in my stomach.
I still remember how you confessed your admiration and how I was okay with it.
I told you it was fine, and I don't mind it because, to be honest, I've fallen already that time.
Well, I try to disregard my beating heart. Yet whenever I spend my time with you, I cannot help but adore you.
Eventually, I told you how I started to have my feelings blossom through time.
Ah, I missed those times when you walked me to school even though you didn't have a class.
I miss the time we spent inside a store and ranted about our academics.
I miss the time when we just wanted to see each other.
You'd say you missed me already when we just parted a few minutes ago.
You'd say how much you love me and hold my hand.
You'd say you see your future with me.
It's just funny because you are not here anymore.
Time flies so fast. It was like yesterday when you confessed, and now you are back with the person you used to love.
I just wonder, where did your love for me go?
Did it disappear into thin air?
Did the wind blow your love for me away?
Or, did you even love me?
Did you really love me?
I mean, you broke up with her. You had a thing with me, and now you're back with her.
Where was I in your heart throughout the three months of you saying that you loved me?
Was it just a lie?
Did you just use me?
You bragged me. You introduced me to your parents. You talked to your friends about me.
So, why?
Why did you just leave me like that?
Why did you choose her over me?
Why did you make me feel so special?
Why did you even make me believe that you loved me when you're not even done loving someone else?
You scarred my heart. You made me believe that it would be you now and for the rest of my life.
You hurt me so badly. You made me question my worth. You made my tears fall.
Ah, I can't believe I loved someone like you.
I can't believe I fell so hard for someone I just met after all these years.
I can't believe I still have this feeling for you after shattering my heart.
When you said that you loved me, I believed you. But now? I don't know if you really loved me.
How could you love me and find yourself coming back to her?
Sometimes I wish I could fix your hair again.
I wish I could treat you to something sweet again.
I wish I could still give you coffee in the morning.
Or let you rest your head on my shoulder.
Sometimes I wish I could still hold your hand, stare at you, or talk to you.
I really wish that none of this had happened.
That you did not ask for space before breaking up with me.
That you did not run back to her.
That you did not tear my heart apart.
Yet I'd play blind if I continued loving you.
You know what? I had this flaming anger within me when I found out about you and her.
I never felt this kind of madness. I hated it so much.
You probably don't know, but even too much stress makes me cry.
Too much frustration makes my eyes get all teared up.
And too much anger? I had to cry my heart out to ease it even a bit.
But it doesn't really work.
I never yelled at someone when I was angry. I never hurt someone physically out of anger.
So when I felt that burning anger within my heart, I didn't know what to do. When I found out that you were back with her, I ran out of tears.
There's no way for me to express that rage.
I just feel empty and nothing.
It's still funny how you filled me with love and left me with nothing but a sobbing heart.
These days, I've tried so hard to avoid you. I refuse to recognize you. I refuse to even lay my eyes on you. What you did broke me into pieces.
Yet your scent seemed to be carved into my system.
There were times I already knew I'd see you because of your scent. And it grows stronger when I miss you.
I cannot deny it to myself.
I hate you, but I still miss you.
I curse your name every time, but I still miss you.
I regret all those times, but I still miss you.
I found myself falling hard to the ground.
You put me way up in the sky, and then you left me hanging.
I wanted to talk to you. Hear everything directly from you.
But I don't want my tears to fall in front of you.
You didn't deserve it. I don't think you deserve it.
Through this letter, I want to finally go on. I want to move forward with or without you.
I was fine without you, and I'll be fine on my own.
I find it harsh sometimes, and I don't really want to wish something bad for someone, but I hope you'd miss me and see me in her eyes as you hold her hand.
