Thantophobia || Jamie Dornan Book One

Chapter 13

I wake up the next morning and get ready for work, in a slow motion way I have never done before. I slowly get out of her and wipe my eyes to try and get the sleepiness out.

I walk slowly to my closet and grab a black work dress and heels. I walk to the bathroom and take a shower then change into my clothes. I do my hair and then walk downstairs. The door opens and I turn and see Jamie and the girl. I look down and walk to the kitchen and grab water. I have trouble opening it and Sofia frowns and easily opens it. Jamie stares at me for a moment but then walks upstairs with her.

I sit in the kitchen stool and fiddle with my granola but don't eat it. I shake my head at Sofia and she nods taking the plate. Jamie and the girls walk downstairs giggling and smiling at each other as Jamie carried his stuff. I turn around in my stool and nod at Tyler. He stands up and grabs my car keys. I take a sip of water and stand up.

"You never drink water." Jamie says. "Ha what would you know." I say laughing. "A lot actually." Jamie says. "Ya like the fact that you cheated on me and brought the girl into my house." I say before shaking my head and grabbing my purse. "Anyways, the door is wide open. Just don't let it hit you when you walk out." I say before grabbing my house keys. Jamie nods and I laugh nervously before looking down. "I hope you find someone Eleanor." Jamie says. "Ya well I hope you fuck yourself." I say and walk out the door and walk to my car.

Jamie and the girl walk out behind me and watch me without blinking. "Where to m'am?" Tyler asks. "Rita's house." I say looking at Jamie. He keeps his eyes on me the whole time and for a moment I thought his eyes were water but they weren't it was just me. I shake the thought out of my head and get into the backseat of my Audi as Tyler takes off.

I get to Rita's house and quickly run in. She's in the living room talking to Dakota. They both turn to me in surprise and by my face they can tell something's wrong. "I'm gonna leave." I say. "Why?" Dakota says walking towards me. "I can't deal with Jamie right now." I say. "No, no, no El, you can't do that. Show him your strong without him." Rita says. "He made one of my fears come alive. How am I suppose to be strong?" I ask frowning. "It's simple. Acting." Dakota says rubbing my back. "Well I just don't know what to do. I'm afraid and sad without out him yet when he's by my side I'm happy and confident." I say. Someone clears their throat behind me and Jamie is right there with the girl. I freeze and pray my tears don't fall down. But they do.

Rita rubs my back and Dakota holds my hair back. I look at my hand and slip off the ring Jamie got for me and the bracelet too. They both fall on the floor making a loud noise and everyone freezes. "Your going back aren't you?" Rita asks. I look up to her and my tears stop and smirk. "She's gone alright." Dakota says. "Gone where what do you mean?" Jamie asks. "Last time her boyfriend broke up with her she turned off her humanity, for a year until well you came." Rita says. "I'm gonna go to work because these Oregon bitches don't know how to organize their shit. Sorry Oregon bar slut girl." I say and look at the girl. "I'm the slut take a look at yourself." She says. I laugh and take a step towards her. "Bad mistake." Dakota says before I pull the girls hair back making her head go back. She stares at me begging for me to let go but I just pull harder. "Get out of my way." I say and let go of her hair making her fall backwards.

I smile and walk out the house leaving my humanity in it. Because I didn't need it, what's their to need when I have nothing left except for a job and family.

After checking on my office I go home to find everyone there in my living room with Adam. I laugh and drop my bags and take off my coat throwing it on the coat holder. Everyone stares at me and I walk slowly to them. Jamie looks down and holds the girls hand playing with it. "If you guys are trying to make me turn my humanity on, good luck." I say smiling and reaching over to a bottle of water. "Plus I got to go." I say grabbing a grape. "Where are you going?" Jamie asks. "A date." I say smirking and walking upstairs. Everyone follows me and I roll my eyes.

I walk into my closet and look through my clothes. I grab my skater dress and black pumps. "Stop looking at me before I kill someone." I say. Everyone turns around and I sigh. I change in my bathroom and do my hair and makeup.

I walk out and everyone stares at me wide eyed. I smile and walk downstairs. Everyone once again follows me and I sigh. "Jake! Let's go!" I yell. Jake runs out of his office and freezes. "Let's pick up Milo." I say. Everyone laughs at the name but I turn to them and they stop. "Milo who m'am?" Jake asks. "Ventimiglia." I say. Dakotas jaw drops and I look down. "This is the new me. But you guys won't have to deal with me, I'm moving to New York." I say. "Why?" Eloise asks. "My job is there and I want to make it the headquarters." I say. "What you mean is that you want to move from Jamie." Rita says. I smile and turn to her. "If I did I'd kill myself." I say. Rita frowns and Dakota smiles.

"Your not going on a date aren't you?" Dakota says. I smile and shake my head. "I'm going to the airport." I say. "And picking up Milo to go with me." I say. Jamie looks at me concern for awhile and then Rita frowns. "Jamie look what you done! Your one stupid asshole! You made me get out of her tragic yet you gave it to her! She had a fear of love Jamie! Yet she have that up for you! But you go to another girl, remember everything she has done for you. When she forgave you for something's and when she tried to make time for you and you knew she couldn't at the time yet you forced it on her. Eleanor has been a great girlfriend to you! That slut can't even get on the level El is on. She gave you everything because you were her everything." Rita says before turning on her heels and walking outside to the back.

I freeze and I feel the emotions all come back in a wave almost you can say. "Let's get this straight. You'll never find a girl like Eleanor basically, never. She tries so hard to keep you happy and smiling Jamie. I'm with Rita on this one. I love you Jamie and all but that girl isn't gonna love you like Eleanor. El has an unconditional love. I'm sorry Eleanor but stay strong hun." Dakota says before walking out back to get Rita. Eloise and Adam stare at me in surprise. "Have fun in NY for me sweetie, you deserve it." Eloise says placing her hand on my shoulder. "I'll visit you okay? I have a performance there next week. Stay strong." Adam says patting my back. I nod and look at Jamie and the girl. "Hope you two the best." I say before turning on my heels to grab my things.

"That's it?" Jamie asks. "Well if you want a speech here it is then. I cried enough tears to see my own reflection in them. Jamie you were the best thing that ever happened by also the worst. I took your promise that you were never gonna leave me, I believe you, and I feel stupid now. Jamie you took my boring ass life and turned it to a fun as teenager life. I felt the love I felt everything I felt when I was that young! Jamie I admit it. No one will ever make me feel like you do." I say. Jamie let's go of the girls hand and I tilt my head. "I'm not giving up on us." Jamie says. I shake my head. "You already did." I say before grabbing my keys and walking out the house.

"Tell Tyler to watch the house." I say to Jake. He nods and I get in the back of the car as Jake drives. "Are you sure Miss. Carmen?" Jake asks me. "I am never sure Jake." I say. He nods and turns on the engine making the car turn on.

Everything I said about Milo was a lie, and it hurts to lie to everyone but I wanted to see if Jamie cared about that for one second but he didn't.

When we land in New York we go to my penthouse and in greeted by my security guards for he house. "How has it been around here Nani?" I ask. "Two break ins and one gun shot wound to Joseph." Nani says. I nod and walk to the living room. "Call my sister and ask her if she can fly out tonight." I say to Jake. He nods and I walk to my bedroom.

The bed is really cold and empty. Almost like the North Pole, cold and empty. I have hopefully made a point to Jamie. For a second I believed he was gonna run after me or even take a flight out to New York to say everything he didn't say. Yet he didn't.