Thantophobia || Jamie Dornan Book One

Chapter 45

In the picture is Gigi played by Sarah Drew.

I wake up the next day next to Jamie. I lay there starring at the ceiling thinking about Andrea and James.

I slowly get up and walk downstairs. I look above the fireplace where a picture of Andrea, James, and me stands up.

I grab the picture and a tear falls from my eye. "I have no one." I whisper to myself as tears start to fall down faster.

I throw the picture across the room and slowly sit down on the floor in a ball and rock back and fourth.

"Eleanor? What's wrong?" Jamie asks walking into the living room.

"I have no siblings anymore. Do you know how that feels?" I ask Jamie.

Jamie's face drops and and pulls me in his arms. "Their gone, all of them." I say. Soon there's a knock on the front door and Jamie looks at me.

"Go ahead." I say and stand up and walking back to our room.

I change into some black leggings, a grey tank top, and one of Jamie's hoodies.

I walk downstairs and Jamie stands there at the front door talking to someone.

"I don't think this is a good time for visitors Leisa." Jamie says. "Jamie it's fine." I say walking to the kitchen to get coffee. Jamie nods and let's everyone in.

It ends up being Leisa, Natalie, Jessica, Tori, and the girl who likes Jamie, Leilani.

They all smile and hug me and I look at Jamie overwhelmed. He nods and pulls back his sisters from me.

"So how are you?" Natalie ask. "Natalie that isn't a good question to ask right now." Jamie says scolding her.

"I could be better." I say taking sip of my coffee and patting a spot on the couch so Jamie can sit next to me.

He gladly sits next to me and he puts my legs on top of his lap.

"So you guys have a nice place." Tori says looking around. Jamie nods and smiles.

"So how's acting Jamie?" Leilani asks. Jamie looks at me then begins to speak.

"Great I just finished the movie."

Leilani nods and Jamie starts to rub his hand up and down my legs. I look at the hallway where I hung up pictures and notice a picture of Jamie, James, Andrea, my mom, dad, and me.

I tense up and Jamie looks where I'm looking. He nods and gets up. He walks to the picture and takes the picture down.

I take a deep breathe and he walks back to his spot. "What was that?" Jessica asks.

"I have a fear called thantophobia." I say. "It's when you fear of losing the ones you love." I say looking at the picture.

"I got diagnosed with it when James passed away." I say.

Jamie stares at me in surprise and I look down. "I also have a fear called atelophobia. It's a fear of imperfection, or not being good enough." I say.

Jamie's face drops and I place my head in my hands.

"I have more so don't make that face." I say to Jamie. Jamie nods and brings me close to him.

"Well go on." Leisa says.

"I have eremophobia, fear of being alone, athazagoraphobia, fear of being forgotten or replaced, and I used to have dishabiliophobia, fear of undressing in front of someone." I say.

Jamie nods at me in surprise and I shrug.

"I used to have way more, I could go on but, that would be forever." I say and place my mug on the desk by the couch.