Thantophobia || Jamie Dornan Book One

Chapter 36

In the picture is Eleanor's dress for the wedding.

Soon it's Saturday and Chris is at my house getting ready. I slip on my dress and Chris zips it up. I thank him and walk to my bathroom and do my hair.

I put it half up and half down. I curl it then run my fingers through them to make them lose.

I do my makeup then slip on my black heels and bring black flats just in case my feet start to hurt.

I walk out the bathroom and grab the invitation and my small clutch bag. "You look beautiful." Chris says. "Thank you." I say smiling and start to walk downstairs with him.

We take Chris' car which is a Black 1969 Camaro.

He opens the door and I quickly climb in and thank him before he takes off to the wedding.

When we get there everyone in my family looks at me in disgust thinking why am I here I don't belong here?

I look down at my feet and Chris places his big hand on my small waist. I smile and walk to our seats which is in the back since everyone kicked us out the front because their "family".

Soon Elena is walking down the aisle with her dad bragging in the way she walks showing of her dress and heels that must of a cost a fortune.

When she reaches the altar her dad lets go of her arm and sits down in the front next to the rest of the "family."

"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses, to join Elena Carmen and Jamie Dornan in matrimony commended to be honorable among all; and therefore is not to be entered into lightly but reverently, passionately, lovingly and solemnly. Into this - these two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together. Let them speak now or forever hold their peace." The pastors begins.

I hold myself down to the painful words the pastor says about them being together and feel tears fall down my cheeks as I try so hard not to stand up and say something but I don't hold it in.

"Me." I say raising from my seat. "Eleanor what are you doing?" Chris asks me from his seat. "Me I don't want them to get married." I say. "What are you doing Eleanor?" Elena asks glaring at me.

Jamie turns to me in surprise and I shake my head. "If you have a reason please, go on." The pastor says. "Jamie was mine! He was mine but I had to let him go because of Elena. I knew she would of took everything else I had if I didn't let him go so they can be married. But I don't care right now! Elena take everything from me but you cannot take Jamie. I realized now he is my everything, and I can't let my everything go not this time, I did that before a long time ago I regretted it but I'm not letting go. I love Jamie. No one or nothing can change that! That should be me marrying Jamie!" I scream and fall on my knees in the middle of the aisle and cry like I've never cried before.

"Dad! Do something!" Elena yells. I look up and I'm quickly greeted to a hand slapping my cheek. I quickly fall on my back and everyone gasps at his actions. "Looks you haven't changed a bit." I whisper to the abusive dad I used to have.

He glares at me and raises his hand again, I quickly flinch but don't feel anything. I look up and see the pastor in front of my dad telling him he should hurt anyone.

I quickly stand up and grab my purse and jacket. I take off my heels so I can run far from here.

I wipe my eyes one more time before looking back at Jamie as he stands surprised at the altar before stepping down and looking me in the eyes.

I shake my head and run out the church before Chris or Jamie can catch me. I cry more and more every step. "Eleanor!" Someone yells out to me.

But I get faster every minute as I get used to running without shoes. I wipe my eyes as they get blurry with tears. I trip over my dress and land on the grass and am face to face with Jamie.

"No go, you go. I'm fine." I say through sobs. "You love her Jamie, you don't love me you don't. I have secrets Jamie that I haven't told you I mean who wants a girl like me who doesn't tell her own boyfriend who her fears are?" I ask Jamie as he stares at me completely serious.

"Me." Jamie says. "Okay stop playing jokes Jamie stop quoting me and what I said back in that church I will not talk about it." I say and cry harder. "Oh shit my makeup, oh my god I'm a mess." I say and wipe my eyes but I guess it only made it worst.

"Eleanor please calm down." Jamie says and grabs my hands. "Like I said me. I want a girl like you. Even though you may not tell me things Eleanor we're barely getting used to this telling each other things." Jamie says looking deep in my eyes.

"Jamie I'm a mess right now I mean I fainted five times because of emotional stress and not eating. I was in and out of hospitals this week. I mean I look like a giraffes neck." I say pointing to my body.

Jamie chuckles and smiles. "Eleanor one step at a time." Jamie says. "I'm a giraffes neck Jamie." I say and cry harder. "Okay let's get you home because I don't want you to cry in front of Elena's family." Jamie says and picks me up and carries me somewhere.

He lays me in a passenger seat of a car and I keep crying. Jamie gets in the drivers seat and drives off to my house.

When we get there I keep crying and I realize we aren't home, we're at my brother grave. "James." I say smiling but keep crying.

Jamie leads me to his grave and then sets up to chairs for us to sit and look at my brothers grave.

"Oh god how I wish you were here." I say and wipe my tears. "I need someone to talk to." I say to James' grave.

I sit there leaning on Jamie and crying softly as I stare at his grave. "I miss him Jamie." I say and place my hand on Jamie's thigh. "I know." Jamie says kissing the top of my head.

We both stand up and get back in the car and go to Jamie's house this time.

For the first time I've ever seen Jamie's house which it's really big. "I know it's not as big as your house but I am the only one that lives here at the moment." Jamie says.

"At the moment?" I ask and gaze around the house. "Well ya." Jamie says smiling. "Well who's gonna move in with you?" I asks curious. "Well before we broke up I bought this house for us but then it just ended up being me. So I put it up for sale but no one cared for it so I just kept it." Jamie says. I smile and blush that he actually spent money on a house for us when we could of stayed at mine.

"Here I'll show you around." Jamie says and grabs my hand. He shows me the kitchen and it's pretty big for cooking and holding everything you need as a chef.

He shows me rooms and then finally stop at the end of the hall and opens the door. "What is this your playroom?" I ask Jamie joking around. "Actually this would of been our room." Jamie says laughing.

I join in his laughing and walk inside. Inside is a canopy bed. Beside the bed is two nightstands. Right in front of the bed is a flat screen tv. There's couches against the back of the wall behind the TV. That's how big the room is! And all around are windows which show a great view of Los Angeles and the water.

I smile in amaze and Jamie smiles. "You like?" Jamie asks. I nod and smile again.

"Well it could be ours." Jamie says. "We could live here, start again." He continues. "We could be standing on the altar like Elena and I did, except no one ruins it." Jamie says. "Jamie." I say. "Take one step at a time." I say. Jamie nods and we walk out the room.

I smile to myself and close the door and reach for Jamie's hand. He grabs my hand and intertwines his fingers with mine.

"I'll move in with you, except Tyler, Jake, and Sofia need a room." I say. "That's okay there's six rooms." Jamie says. "Ya it looks small on the outside." Jamie says reading my mind.

I smile and we walk downstairs and into the living room. "You have work tomorrow?" Jamie asks. "Ya." I say. "Okay." Jamie says. "I'll start packing my things." I say smiling. "But I'll be keeping that house." I say. "Okay deal." Jamie says smiling.

We walk out the house and into Jamie's car. We drive back to my house and relax on the couch. We wait and wait to see if anyone will walk through the living room. To see if they will scream and yell at me for doing what I did at the church.

But nothing happens.