Shining Star//Dimming Light (VOL.2) (Felix X SKZ ONE-SHOTS)

If You Love Me For Me (3rachaLix)

Pairing: 3Racha & Felix

Genre: Modern Fantasy AU

!!TW!! : implied sexual content, suicidal idealism, suicidal thoughts, angst

(requested by @turbo_inferno89)

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Every day was the same. Every night was worse.

Not for the first time, Felix wondered why he was still struggling to exist when it would be so much easier and much less miserable to just give up.

Being born a Demon already wasn't easy. There was a lot of stigma against his kind, many prejudices that had yet to be overcome despite the centuries of progress their mixed society had evolved through. Demons had a pretty bad reputation, often treated like vicious creatures who only sought to take advantage of any poor soul who made the mistake of trusting them. 

However, Demons in general didn't have it too bad. They usually managed to find the right people and build a good life for themselves, eventually. A few even managed to win the hearts of the general populace from time to time, be it as actors or artists of some kind. Most Demons were also accepted as a generality, other people being distant at best.

But then there was Felix, and just what kind of Demon he'd been born as.

If being a Demon was difficult, then being an incubus was downright hellish – no bad pun intended. Their very nature demanded that they drained the life force of whoever they had sex with in order to survive, which landed their kind as a whole a pretty nasty reputation. Frankly, most incubus Felix knew absolutely reveled in that lifestyle. 

They became workers in pricey strip clubs or made good money as prostitutes and porn stars, even. Their bodies were reputed for adapting to every single want and need of whichever individual they laid with, meaning many people with money to spare liked to invest in their services.

Basically, incubus had become glorified sex toys, and Felix absolutely loathed it.

It wasn't his fault that he was born that way. It wasn't his fault that his very existence depended on the life force he could only obtain through sex. It wasn't his fault and yet, people constantly blamed him for his vital needs and romanticized them to the point where others didn't even consider him a person anymore – just some sort of object meant to bring them the utmost pleasure. Who cared about his thoughts? Who cared about his feelings? Who cared about his individuality, who he was beyond his body?

No one. Absolutely no one cared, and it killed Felix a little more every day he spent wallowing in loneliness and misery.

"Well, aren't you a pretty little thing?"

It killed him inside, and yet he couldn't do anything about it. Despite how much he loathed himself sometimes, he didn't want to die. So, he plastered a smile on his face and beckoned over the gruffy man who'd addressed him with a painted nail, tilting his head to bare his neck in a silent invitation.

The unknown man grinned, and Felix forced himself to just play along, no matter how much he hated it.

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Felix stifled a groan as he leaned against the wall beside him. His head was pounding, and he felt incredibly weak. It had been three weeks since he last fed, and it was beginning to seriously take its toll on his body. Starving himself wasn't anything new, but he was starting to seriously push his limits.

Normal food didn't do much for his body. He liked the taste, but it didn't offer any fat or energy, nor did it fill his stomach like another's life force did. And, while it did allow him to save up a fair amount of money compared to others who constantly needed to invest in groceries, there was no doubt in his mind that he'd much rather be poor and craving real food than... this.