Shining Star//Dimming Light (VOL.2) (Felix X SKZ ONE-SHOTS)

Lower (3RachaLix)

Pairing: 3Racha & Felix

Genre: Idol AU

!!TW!! : angst, insecurities, self-doubt, miscommunication, kind of, 3Racha are assholes in this one, emotional hurt, unconscious self-harm, minor injury, concussion, throwing up

(requested by @miimi)

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Felix heaved out a sigh as he turned off his phone, leaning back against his pillow. He'd been reading comments about the group's latest performance and though almost all of them were quite good and supportive, he couldn't help but feel... lacking, somehow.

The comments revolving around him either mentioned his visuals (which was flattering, of course) or, most importantly, the deepness of his voice. The fans kept on gushing about how deep his voice was, how low it could go, how dreamy the uniqueness of it was... It used to make Felix proud but now, he couldn't help but feel like his importance in the group solely stemmed from his voice.

Not a good singing voice, not an extraordinary rapping voice – just a deep one.

He was a main dancer, one of the three members that made up "Danceracha" – and yet, he rarely saw anyone comment about his dancing skills. It was always about how adorable he was, how kind he was to make brownies for everyone, how his deep voice simply didn't match his looks and general character...

Frankly, it made him feel more like a manager than an actual Idol, sometimes.

Aren't I more than just my voice?

Don't I have any notable or noteworthy talents?

What am to the group without my voice?

Those awful, bitter thoughts had been growing louder lately. Harder to ignore, harder to forget about – just constant doubts plaguing his mind and weighing on his heart and overall rendering him completely, emotionally exhausted.

The fact that his own boyfriends didn't understand his plight at all didn't help.

"Why the long face, Lix?"

The freckled boy shook his head, laying down on his bed. "It's nothing, hyung."

Changbin frowned a bit at his quick dismissal. "It's clearly not nothing if it's bothering you so much. You know I love you and I'd do anything to help, right?"

"I..."

They'd had this conversation before. Felix knew where it was going, how it was going to end – but he couldn't help but hope that, this time around, things would be different.

"I've checked the comments about our last performance," he admitted, slightly holding his breath. "And all I could see was people commenting on how deep my voice is—"

Changbin instantly let out a frustrated noise. "This again? Lix, baby – I love you, but you can't be serious. Why are you constantly complaining about people praising you?"

"That- that's not—"

"You need to get over this weird funk, Lix. Get some rest – a good night of sleep will help you clear your head."

Felix lowered his eyes at that, swallowing down the bitter taste of dejection. "You're right. I'm just tired. Sorry, hyung."

"Come here, Lix," sighed Changbin, opening his arms in an invitation. "Let's cuddle for a bit, hm?"

Felix didn't have the heart to turn him down, no matter how much his reaction pained him. So, he abandoned his bed and padded over to Changbin's, promptly lying down with the older and curling up against him. Changbin cooed playfully, pulling him a little closer, and Felix simply let his eyes flutter shut so his boyfriend wouldn't notice the tears gathering in them.