I Think Your Love Would Be Too Much / Post Malone

Chapter 96

Lena POV

I took a long look in the mirror before I wiped away my smudged lipstick and ran my fingers slowly to smooth through my sexed hair. I gave myself a small smile as I was reminded how incredibly lucky I was to have Austin in my life.

A year ago, I was on the floor of my LA apartment, tears pouring down my face as I sat in my wedding gown, sobbing desperately into my lace veil. I sat by myself, locked in my bathroom, my hand placed along my nearly invisible bump as I held on to the only glimmer of happiness I had left in my life. But little did I know, that would soon be taken away from me as I just begun to wrap my head around the reality of bringing a child into this world alone.

The baby was all I had to keep me going and was the sole reason I even got out of bed some days. But as much as I tried to be strong for myself and my child, in the end, it wasn't enough. My miscarriage only added to my depression and my unanswered phone calls to Luke that were repeatedly sent to voice-mail, only left me as an empty shell of a person as I dealt with the tragic loss of our baby on my own.

"Lena! Baby please open the door. Please let me in. Let me come home. I am so sorry Lee. Please I just want to come home."

I was curled up on the couch in an old pair of pajamas and a hot cup of tea as I listened to him bang against the front door of our once shared apartment. I allowed each one of his phone calls to go to voice-mail and every text message to go unanswered. After he refused to talk to me for months, he was finally getting a dose of his own medicine as he pathetically came crawling back, pleading nonstop at my door. I had been discharged a few weeks before from the hospital after losing the baby and along with that, I had lost a lot of blood. I had to mourn the loss of my child alone in the hospital all the while receiving multiple transfusions. Just as I was beginning to take my first steps towards healing, here he was, begging for me to take him back. But I couldn't bring myself to forgive him. I wasn't ever going to forgive him.

I was broken for longer than I wanted to be and I couldn't bring myself to even think about trusting someone ever again. But the second I met Austin, I knew in my heart of hearts that he would be the one to break down my walls and put the pieces of heart back together regardless of my doubts in the beginning. He fought his hardest to save me even when I didn't think I needed to be saved. I had never truly been loved until I had been loved by him. And for that, I was eternally grateful.

I gave my hair once last tousle before I exited mine and Austin's shared bedroom and hurridly made my way down the staircase. The party was still in full swing though I was certain some guests had left as I no longer had to struggle to make my way through the house.

"Lena!"

I miraculously heard my name being shouted over the booming speakers and I turned my head in nearly every direction to figure out where it was coming from. My eyes finally locked with Adam's who stood only a few feet from me though he sounded like he was tens of miles away. I managed to squirm my way through the large crowd that had formed around the intense game of beer pong that was no where near its end in the middle of the living room.

He gestured for me to follow him into the kitchen, which was much less packed than just moments before.

"Hey, I saw you run upstairs and you looked pretty upset. And then I saw Austin running after you in a panic. Is everything okay? I told him I'll kill 'em if he ever hurts you." He half joked as he expressed his concern for me.