I Think Your Love Would Be Too Much / Post Malone

Chapter 50

I climbed off of the small couch and adjusted the hems of my dress. I picked up my panties from the ground, slipping them back on before I took a look in the mirror.

My lips were swollen and my curls were now frizzed. I ran my fingers through them, creating loose waves as I smoothed my hair.

I took in a breath before I turned away to leave the empty dressing room.

I swallowed hard as I was in disbelief at what had just happened between Austin and I.

One look at me. One touch. One kiss.

That's all it took for me to give in and hand myself over to him. It took nearly absolutely nothing for me to slide my panties down and graciously spread my legs for this man. As if nothing had ever happened between us.

But what sank my heart what the words he spilled once we were done and it reminded me that things still weren't okay between us.

How could I say those words to him? As if our sex was ever just sex.

I suddenly felt like the shittiest person on the planet and the guilt dwelling in my mind was becoming more than I could handle.

I couldn't be here right now and as much as I needed to talk to Austin, I didn't want to do it here.

I made my way back to the rec room, the space much less packed than it was before we snuck out together.

My eyes searched the room as I found the one person I was looking for and I quickly made my way towards him.

"Jeremy. Can you take me home now? Please?" I mumbled, pulling him away from a conversation with one of the other security guys.

His gaze slanted towards Austin's direction whose stare was already boring it's way through the room and directly began invading my soul.

I saw Austin give him a subtle nod as if he was telling him it was okay. His eyes seemed empty as he shifted his glace from Jeremy back to me.

His gaze softened the longer he looked at me and I wished more than ever that I could just run into his arms.

But instead I followed Jeremy towards the exit and I heard the door slam shut behind us.

I hung my head as we slowly walked side by side, my brain more confused than ever.

I knew what I wanted. I knew who I wanted. But I was scared.

Nothing frightened me more than trusting someone only to have it all ripped away, and my heart left on the ground.

"I take it you guys had a talk." Jeremy looked over to me as he led me out of the venue and into the the brisk night air.

I lightly chuckled as I shook my head to myself, tucking a loose strand behind my ear.

"No we had sex instead." I replied flatly, realizing how freaking ridiculous I sounded as the words left my mouth.

"Jesus Lena." He snickered as he opened the car door for me, allowing me to climb inside.

He walked around the the driver's side, getting in and starting the Bentley.

"As amusing as you guys are, you need to stop playing games. Don't fuck around with his heart Lee. He loves you. It's obvious to the entire fucking world how much he loves you."

"I- just, I'm scared."

"What scares you more Lena? Getting hurt or allowing yourself to be happy?" He asked me in a quiet voice, causing my head to perch up as his words almost stung.