I Think Your Love Would Be Too Much / Post Malone

Chapter 62

"I- I'm- you don't remember me?" I stuttered, my heart in my mouth as I struggled to speak.

I was at a loss of words as I stared helplessly at my clueless yet vulnerable boyfriend. I could see the look in his eyes as he blinked very carefully at me, as if he were seeing me for the very first time.

But I knew deep down, from his perspective, he probably was.

I could taste the salty tears as they tumbled down my face, at a much slower pace that just a few minutes prior. I wiped my eyes with the long sleeves of my tee shirt and sniffled a few times before I realized what a terrible "first" impression I was giving off. But in this moment, none of that mattered to me. Because I felt as if I no longer had my best friend.

My sadness went from being about not knowing if Austin was going to wake up, to being sad that the love of my life seemingly lost his memory and didn't know who the fuck I was.

"I remember briefly waking up in my car after the accident and realizing what had happened but I'm pretty sure I passed out after that cause the rest is just a blur. I don't remember how I got out of the car or to the hospital or anything." Austin shook his head. "But I'm glad to see you're okay. Not even a scratch." He went on, his eyes raking me up and down.

I couldn't help but pick up on him discreetly checking me out despite the fact that he was just in a horrid car accident. I had no choice but to chuckle internally that even though he had no recollection of who I was and was laying in a freaking hospital bed, he was still looking at me with that same glimmer in his eye that he had the first time he ever set eyes on me.

"I- I'm not-" I attempted to explain before Austin's gaze became fixed on the Hollywood's Bleeding shirt that I was wearing which actually belonged to him.

"Okay now this explains why you're so upset. You're a fan of mine." He chuckled. "Listen, don't beat yourself up. You're gonna have a really interesting story to tell your friends how exactly you met me." He joked, trying to lighten the mood between us.

"Y-you don't know who I am." I whispered more to myself than to him. It came out a statement more than a question because the blankness on Austin's face proved that he indeed saw nothing but a stranger when he looked at me.

As much as I wanted to grab both sides of his face and press my lips against his, tell him exactly who I was and how much I loved him, I had seen enough movies and TV shows to know that springing this information on him would not benefit the situation or make him suddenly snap out of his amnesia.

Forcing him to remember would not make his memories of us come back any quicker and would in fact worsen things between us. But what made this so difficult was it was unpredictable how long it would be like this.

I've already spent enough time pretending that I didn't love this man. I didn't want to do it anymore. Like I said, I was tired.

"Always tired. Always fucking tired Lena."

I heard his voice echo in my head as I had a flashback to just a month ago. When we were casually hooking up and hadn't even acknowledged our feelings towards each other yet.

I would give anything to get that moment back. Anything was better than this. I mean to me, he was my everything. While I was absolutely nothing to him, just a nameless stranger.

"I'm um- I'm not the person that hit you Austin." My voice cracked as I spoke, a queasy feeling stirring in my stomach as I was about to hide part of the truth about who I really was.

I mean what was I going to say? Hey Austin, I'm Lena your girlfriend of about five minutes who you were casually sleeping and fucking around with but we fell in love but haven't officially said to each other. Oh and also I'm employed by Posty Co by the way.