I Think Your Love Would Be Too Much / Post Malone

Chapter 21

I sat restlessly on the couch as my thoughts wandered in a million different directions.

My brain was scattered and my mind was crazed as I couldn't stop thinking about my previous encounter with Austin. That was farthest we have gone physically and I could not get enough.

But somehow, my thoughts kept reverting from our sexual pleasures.

It wasn't his fingers I was thinking about, or his lips or his tongue. Well at least for right now.

But It was his boyish smile, his contagious laugh, his beautiful blue eyes.

And most importantly, the way my heart tumbled to the ground whenever he looked at me.

Fuck Lena snap the fuck out of this.

There was no future for Austin and I. There was only a "right now". A part of me wanted to enjoy it for as long as it was going to last while the other part knew there would only be a bitter end.

I had to force myself to come to terms with the fact that it was going to be over someday. But I had to live in the moment, and right in this moment, I didn't want to stop what we were doing. I just had to be more careful, that's all.

I know it sounds ridiculous. But I was addicted to this man. And shielding my heart from him felt like a struggle of it's own. It was something that I had to do even if it was weighing heavily on mind, more and more with each day that passed.

I stared blankly at my laptop screen, my thoughts much too busy to focus on the hundreds of emails I was suppose to be sifting through.

"You okay Lena?" Chris asked as he plopped down next to me.

"Hmm? Oh yeah I'm good. Just looking through these brand deal details. Bud Light sent over their designs for the Posty Co. clothing collab. I'm going to show Austin once he wakes up." I said as he brought me over a cup of coffee.

"Oh thank you so much, I need caffeine more than anything right now." I graciously accepted the mug, though I was struggling to look him in the eye after last night.

"You're welcome. Oh shit they did? I haven't checked my email yet." He muttered as I handed over my laptop for him to scroll through the images.

I took a long sip of my coffee and turned on the television as Chris sat beside me.

"They look good. Hey Austin wants to know if you're awake?" He said, pointing to the message on my laptop.

Austin: Are you up groupie?

My skin flushed a deep red as I realized my text messages were connected to show up on my computer.

Once again I managed to dodge getting caught, getting lucky that Austin hadn't texted me calling me beautiful.

Or worse, sent me a naughty message about last night.

I quickly grabbed my laptop from him and scrambled to come up with a quick excuse.

"Oh. I wanted to talk to him about my friend Brian. He's a Hollywood producer. He's actually in town shooting a movie here and I told Austin we would discuss it this morning." I tried my best not to stutter as I spoke.

I wasn't completely lying but that was not the reason Austin was texting me and I knew it.

Chris simply nodded though his expression was still somewhat confused.

"Why is he calling you groupie?" He questioned curiously.

"It's just an inside joke between us." I shrugged. "I barely knew any of his songs before I got the job but now I'm actually a fan of his music so he calls me groupie." I said quietly, probably sounding completely ridiculous.