𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕕- 𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕠 𝕣𝕚𝕕𝕕𝕝𝕖

14-

-mattheo's pov- 

"So..." I say , sitting down on the very edge of her bed. She sighs , chewing on her bottom lip. 

"So." I suck in air through my teeth and scratch my head. 

"Theodore Nott.." He face falls and she slumps back down on the couch. Her hands cover her face and she groan out , 

"What about him ?" i hesitate , fearing her answer.

"You're boyfriend ?" She looks up. I'd normally say she looks beautiful , her hair out of her the tie and spread over her shoulder , the slight fall in her sweater , showing just the barest trace of her shoulder's skin. And of course , her lips , those lips i want to kiss. I'd say all of these things , that is if i didn't think she could be able to kill me , right here , right now, just by staring daggers at me with her eyes. 

"No , Mattheo." I feel a slight weight fall off my shoulders. 

"Just curious." She rubs her eyes and brushes her hair out of her face , raking her fingers in it. 

"He's a good friend. I've known him since I was a kid." That should be enough. It should. It really should. But it's not. The way he looked at her, it reminded me of how i  look at her. He likes her. Loves her , even, if he's known her for so long. And something is bothering me , so i have to ask.

"That's it ?" Her cheeks go red , and i immediately regret asking. Don't tell me. Oh please don't tell me. I don't want to know. I take it back. I take it back !  

"I mean... we used to be friends with benefits , but that's it." I crack my knuckles , wanting to punch a wall. Wanting to cry and throw up until my eyes are burning and my throat is sore. Wanting to tear my hair out until there's no more. I regret asking. Oh fuck how i regret asking. The asshole in me is taking over , the narcissist , the complete and utter dipshit that hurts everyone. He's coming out and i can't stop him. Oh how i wish i could. I'm going to hurt her, and i can't stop it. 

"Wow. That's truly mind-blowing. good for you." Her face falls. fuck! no! shit , i'm sorry ! She gets up , eyes red. 

"And what about your little mystery girl huh ? Do i know her ?" She's pretending. She picks up a small cat glasses holder from her des , playing with it. I know i hurt you, darling. Just please hit me , and get this over with. hit me. yell at me. swear at me. hex me. do whatever! just please, hurt me like i'm hurting you. plunge a fucking dagger in my chest for all i care. just , hurt. ME. She says nothing. I say nothing. She's stopped looking at me. I stuff my hands in my pockets , and let the dipshit version of me take over. 

"Yeah , you do , actually." She frowns , putting the cat down. 

"Who is she ?" 

"Astoria Greengrass." No it's fucking not ! It's you!  Yeah , i asked her to the dance , but i wanted you to tell me it wasn't worth it. That i should go with you ! i've fucked it up now. Dipshit Mattheo has been in control for too long. I'm acting like my father.. 

"Wha- the Draco obsessed girl from potions ?" go away , disphit mattheo. go away , go away , go away ! He can't hear me. And he sure in hell ain't leaving. 

"Good pick. Maybe i could go with Nott and we can double date." Her words sting. Oh fucking hell they sting. She wants to go with him , doesn't she ? She never cared about me, did she ? She asked for my help that day , just so that I would get into trouble didn't she ? Maybe. 

"yeah, no." I reply , trying to sound as dry as i can. She obviously looks taken aback. shit. maybe she meant it as a joke. it was definitely a joke. 

"It was a joke , sour patch. lighten up." She spits , venom on her tongue. 

"So funny." I reply , rolling my eyes. FUCKING HELL , WILL YOU STOP IT ? 

"Yeah , i know." She chuckles , and i almost melt at the sound. So pretty. Yet not hurt enough. not according to dipshit mattheo at least. 

"You know , maybe you should go with Theodore. Two perfect asshats." Her eyes go wide , and she seriously looks like she's about to cry. 

God , what have i done ? 

-y/n's pov- 

I look back at him , heart screaming, eyes burning. How could he say that ? And just when i thought he might be nice. 

"You know what , Riddle ?" He wasn't expecting me to retort. Well , fuck you , Riddle. 

"I might just do exactly fucking that." 

"Good." He doesn't seem disappointed. I sniffle , wiping my nose on my sleeve. 

"Great." He storms out , slamming the door. I wait until i can't hear him , and let my heart crumble to pieces. I was just starting to like him. To think , oh wow , he isn't that bad. Maybe i was wrong. Fuck the "maybe". I was wrong. 

"Hey , love  , do you know what's wrong with Mattheo ? He just stormed out and- woah. Are you okay ?" Pansy stands in my doorway , my crumpled body on the ground. I feel naked. I feel exposed. Why the fuck am i crying ? I know why. I thought he would ask me. I had feelings for him... Oh they're long fucking gone. They left the moment he slammed my door , without looking back.