𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕕- 𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕠 𝕣𝕚𝕕𝕕𝕝𝕖

22-

y/n's pov- 

I sit in Herbology, yet my brain is registrating nothing. I can see Mrs Sprout talking, her lips moving. My knee is bouncing up and down, my teeth gnawing at the skin of my thumb. I look around the room, trying to spot Mattheo. He isn't here.  My heart is racing faster and faster, and i can't concentrate. My body is aching, my hands trembling as i try my best to take deep breaths.  Hermione is scribbling  notes next to me, her pen being so incredibly noisy. I turn to stare at her and she looks up at me, confused. 

"What ?" 

"Could you not do that ?" She frowns, letting her pen fall on her paper. 

"Do what ?" She whispers, frowning. I blow out heavily and lick my lips. 

"Stop writing so loudly." She frowns, her head jutting backwards. 

"What ? I'm not though, i-" Then her eyes drift over to my arm and her lips part.  I look down to see the bottom of the mark peeking through from the bottom of my hiked up sleeve. I rush to pull my sleeve down and tuck my hand away. 

"What was-" 

"Nothing, don't worry about it.. Just an old scar." She frowns, skeptical, but eventually lets it go. My eyes meet Pansy's , who is sitting on the other side of the room. Her eyes widen, in warning, the she frowns as she sees my hand settle on my forearm. I stare at Mrs Sprout until she finally says,

"Alright. For next class, complete the questions that you have noted down on your books. You may go." I'm the first to grab my bag and shoot out of class. I wait by the door, pacing. When Pansy comes out, she jumps as she sees me.

"Jesus-" 

"We have to go find him." She groans, pulling me aside. 

"Whoa, whoa.. Calm down, y/n. Take a deep breath. You look like you're coming down a really bad acid trip." I dig my fingers through my hair, licking my incredibly dry lips. 

"We need to find Mattheo.. I can't- I can't go around and live my life with this thing on my arm." I say, bawling my hands into fists. She sighs, grabbing my hands, and trying to get me to clam down. 

"Hey. Hey. Just breathe, okay ? We'll go find him." She pulls me down the hall, and up into the stairs that lead to the astronomy tower. We climb the stairs, breaths heavy and ragged as we go up. When we get to the top, i see him, sitting on the bench, staring at the cigarette between his fingers. And rage clouds my vision. And i can't see anything but red. I snatch my hand away, and i lunge. 

"Mattheo !" His head snaps towards me. I feel Pansy scramble to hold me back, but before she can catch me, my fist collides with his jaw. His head flies the other side, blood staining his lips. He stares up at me, before scrambling to his feet and wiping at his bloody lips. He stares at the blood on his hand and then back down at me. 

"What the hell, y/n ?" I get close to him, lips pursed. 

"What the fuck did you do to me ?!" I yell, shoving my hands in his chest. He staggers backwards. He steps close, staring down at me. 

"What are you talking about ?" I shove at his chest again, making his groan. 

"The mark, Mattheo !" He stares at me, the colour draining from his face as blood dribbles down his lip. 

"What fucking mark ?" He says, his voice cautious. I lift my sleeve and look down at the mark on my arm.

"The dark mark, asshole." He stares at my arm and takes a step forward, gripping and pulling it forward. The gesture makes my stomach churn, as he runs his finger over my arm. 

"Where.. How.. Where did you get that ?" He mutters, eyes scanning my arm. I tear my arm away, shrugging my sleeve back down. 

"You tell me.  We woke up with this shit on our arms." He frowns. 

"Who's we ?" I nod to pansy behind me. 

"Me, Pansy, and i found out this morning that Draco and Blaise have it too." He gestures to my arm, trying to reach me. 

"Well i sure as hell didn't put it there." I shrug away from his attempt to grab me. 

"Bullshit." His gaze darken as he steps forward. My arms cross over my chest as i jut my chin upward, as i try not to melt under his gaze. 

"I couldn't have." I take a step back, clearing my throat. 

"What do you mean ?" He rolls up his sleeve. 

"I have it too. I woke up with it this morning, right after this weird dream." I rub my eyes tiredly, feeling the knot in my throat tighten. I don't want to cry, but i thought that Mattheo would have answers. And he doesn't. 

"Well.. What does this mean ?" I say, my voice strained. 

"I don't know." He mutters, his arms stuffing in his pockets. I shake my head, biting the inside of my cheek, trying not to cry. 

"I'm not becoming a death eater, Mattheo. Soo if you put this here-" I gesture to my arm, my voice breaking. 

"I didn't." He says, taking a step forward, his hand settling on my waist. He drags me forward and my face lands in his chest. His hands are resting on my hips. His chin is on the top of my head. 

"Then how could he have gotten there ? I mean, your dad's dead and he has been for a while." I sniffle into his chest. His hands squeeze my waist tenderly, before his body goes still against mine. 

"Unless.. he isn't." I pull away from him , suddenly realizing how close we were. 

"W-What..?" Pansy drags me back, her hands on my shoulder. He stares at me, his lips parted. He stares at me, his lips parted. 

"Forget it." he groans, scratching the back of his head. I look back at Pansy and the tears start flowing again. If Mattheo didn't do it , then what did ? Is Voldemort still alive ? Is that really a possiblity ? I clutch at my chest, trying to get some air to flow into my lungs. 

"Pansy, i can't-" I turn towards Pansy, tugging at my shirt. She looks at me, concerned. 

"What ? y/n, talk to me." I shake my head, trying to catch my breath. 

"I can't- I can't breathe-" I sob, tears flowing down my cheeks. Pansy is getting all up in my face, trying to calm me down. Until, Mattheo pushes her away. 

"Move, Pans." He mutters, before pushing her away. 

mattheo's pov-

I push Pansy away, and cup her cheeks. 

"Okay, y/n.. Don't pass out on me again." I guide her to the bench and make her sit down, before kneeling before her. I place my hands on her knees, until she grips my hand in both of hers, and squeezes it. 

"I can't-" 

"Hey, hey. It's okay. Just breathe okay.. One deep breath in..." Her chest rises. 

"One deep breath out." Her chest falls. 

I repeat this process, until she's scrambled on the floor, laying on my chest, her chest rising and falling slowly as she sleeps. Pansy is staring at me as i raise to my feet and hoist her up into my arms. 

"How did you... Know how to do that ?" I sigh, looking down at her, her head flopping on my chest. 

"I've had my fair share of panic attacks.. Now, let's get her back to bed, she needs rest."