The Own Goal ✔️

Part 17

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20 weeks pregnant 👶

Tomorrow is my 20 weeks scan, officially half way through this pregnancy.

I'm enjoying being pregnant now, I've got an obvious bump which isn't yet so big it's causing issues and I'm not feeling sick  as much as I was a few weeks ago.

I can no longer hide it at work and my regular clients are all being so lovely to me.

I've been telling people that I'm no longer with the dad, but always that he's being supportive.
Which he is. I haven't seen him since the day of our last scan, he woke me gently an hour after I fell asleep to say he needed to go.

He phones me once or twice a week though without fail.

I do my best to avoid him on social media, I don't want to know who he's shagging.
I know it's more than just Stacey.
He hasn't added me on any of his private social media accounts.

I have been in touch with his mum, the letter she sent with the goody bag was a really sweet little note, basically saying she knows exactly what her son is like, and whatever he does, shes always there if I want her to be.

I've not spoken to her, but we have exchanged a few texts and she seems lovely.

***

I'm in the salon today, it's a lovely crisp autumn day. Katie is starting to decorate the salon ready for Halloween in a couple of weeks.

I'm working with one of my favourite clients, an older lady called Joan who comes in regularly and loves to experiment with colours.
Today she wants to go a deep purple for Halloween. She's a sweetie and has brought in cakes for us all.

I'm standing there working on her hair, chatting with her about the display Katie is arranging when I first feel it.

It's like a bubble popping. In my belly.
I put my hand to my belly "you ok pet?" Asks Joan, I meet her eyes in the mirror, then look back down to my bump. Oh my god! There it was again!

I laugh and cry at the same time "I just felt her kick!" I exclaim!

Joan is smiling and saying how lovely it is, but all I can think of is that I need to call Jack. I have no idea where he would be or what he might be doing, but I excuse myself and Katie says she's happy to step in with Joan.

I rush out the back and ring him. He answers on the 4th ring

"Hello" his voice is very quiet and low.

"Jack!! Oh my god, you'll never guess what's just happened?"

"Er, can I call you back actually" his voice is dead flat.

"Jack?"

"Is it an emergency?" I don't like how cold he sounds

"Well no, but....."

"I'll call ya later" and he hangs up. I stare at my phone.
What the fuck just happened.

I cradle my bump. Our baby. I think about our little girl inside me, making us aware that she's there and ok by wriggling around and her daddy just hung up on me.

I go back out to the salon and somehow manage to plaster a smile on my face for the rest of the day.

Jack tries to call me several times throughout the day and I ignore him.

By the time I finish work there's several texts from him, asking me to answer. I neither reply nor answer when his number flashes up on screen.

I go home and bang around at home.
I'm in a foul mood and I hate myself for it.
I've read that the baby can pick up on my mood so I know I need to relax.

I sit and scroll on my phone aimlessly.

The door buzzer goes off.

I haven't ordered anything. I look out of the window, my flat is above the front door. Before I even look down though, I see Jacks car next to mine.

No way has he fucking driven all the way here.

I pick up the buzzer "go away!"

"No, I'm not going anywhere Chels, let me in!"

Reluctantly I press the door release button.

Minutes later he's letting himself in and standing feet away from me in the lounge.

He's glaring at me "why didn't ya answer when I called ya back? I didn't know if ya were bein' childish or if somethin' was wrong!"

"Childish!!? Me??" I laugh

"I told ya I'd call ya back!"

"What was so important that you couldn't speak to me?"

He looks furious "Chelsea I was in a team meeting! Y'know I do have a job! Funnily enough it's not jus' playing football at the weekends! I tried to call ya back the minute it was finished! Chelsea everyone gets moaned at if they get calls, I shouldn't a' had me phone on!"

I stare at him.....I hadn't thought. I think I'd thought he had been with Stacey or someone. Of course he would have been at training or something.

"So what was ya ringing for?"

As he says that, she does it again, maybe she heard us shouting. But there's no mistaking the popping I feel inside is her.

"I felt her move" I say meekly. "I was phoning to tell you I felt her move"

He blinks slowly, "Chels, if ya text me stuff like that then I can call ya when I can" his face is softer now "she moving now?"

"She did, a minute ago"

"Can I feel?"

"I don't know if you can feel it from the outside yet"

We end up on the sofa, Jack sitting with me laying on my back, my head in his lap. My top pulled up and bottoms pushed down exposing my bump and Jacks hand resting and carressing over it lightly. Sitting in silence, waiting for any sign of movement.

It dawns on me how intimate this feels.

"She's not doing anything now" I tell him, looking up at him. He's other hand is in my hair.
"You could stay, if you wanted, it seems silly you driving home just to come back for the scan tomorrow"

"I could, but I won't"

I feel a pang of disappointment.

"I'm gonna stop over with a friend in Manchester, but staying here, I shouldn't Chels" his hand in still in my hair.

"What if I want you to?"

"Do you want me to?"

"I, I'm not sure" I admit.

"And that's why I won't" he says frmly.

He leans over to give my tummy a kiss, then he helps me spin around so that I can get up.

I follow him to the door and he embraces me, laughing at how the bump sits between us now.

"I'm sorry Jack" I say.

He kisses my head and tells me he'll see me in the morning, and then he's gone.