The Own Goal ✔️

Part 60

Friday.

Jack has been at St George's Park all week. I've just finished packing mine and Mia's bag for our night away with him.

Im sitting staring at the bracelet that arrived yesterday. I had hoped it would arrive before Jack left, but now it's here I'm not even sure I'll give it to him.
It somehow doesn't look enough, it's not quite what I was expecting and it's so far removed from his normal blingy jewelry.
I watch Mia playing with her toys and decide I'm not even going to show her. If I don't show her she can't come out with anything about it to him and I can not give it to him. It's engraved, so I can't send it back.
I had also prepared a little care package of his favourite things, Coco pops, wotsits, panda pops, but now that feels stupid too, he's been sending photos of the food they've been eating. Of course it's all been healthy and nutritionally balanced.

He's been in the media all week, suddenly everyone is talking about him 'Birminghams best kept secret' news outlets debating if he'll be a regular starter in the squad or not.

I even heard someone on loose women call him 'incredibly cute' women old enough to be his mum are noticing him and not in a motherly way.

I feel sick about tomorrow, I've met Tyrone's girlfriend, and Phil and his girlfriend very briefly, but meeting the other 'wags' is filling me with dread.

My only consolation is that Layla will be there with Ben, but unlike me she can't wait to be pictured with a wag label over her head.

Kate Kane added me on Instagram, her and Harry have daughters close in age to Mia and she has kindly extended a hand to me. She seems nice.

When I had told Jack he seemed pleased, telling me she was a bit of a mother hen and I'd get on with her, as opposed to the more fame hungry wags, who Layla seemed to be getting in with.

I searched through all their Instagram profiles and the women could be divided into two camps, regardless of if they actually had kids or were yet married or not, there was the 'wifey' camp and the 'party girl' camp.

Jack had firmly placed me in the 'wifey' camp with the names of the girls he thought I'd get on with.

The thing that worries me most, is that over half of the 'wifey' camp have definitely been cheated on by their partners.

It's just a thing isn't it, going as far back as Colleen and Victoria, football players played away.
Good wags grinned and bared it and just stayed in the immaculate houses, popping out the children and the eventual hope was at the end of the football career, your player would finally be yours.

I love Jack, and I know he genuinely loves me.
But I don't know that he wouldn't still be tempted by what might be on offer elsewhere, and if I thought the offers were bad enough since villa had returned to the premier league, I just know how bad it's about to get now Jack is about to take his place on the big summer tournament stage.

I stare at the picture on the wall. It's the first proper picture of us together and it's my favourite.
The Jack and Chelsea of nearly two years ago stare back at me, totally carefree, having our Titanic moment on the yacht the boys had hired in Mykonos.
We look so happy, at that point we didn't know Mia was already forming within my womb.
We both genuinely thought we'd never see each other again once we returned home.
But my heart had already opened to him, even then and while Jack tells me he felt the same, and I do partly believe him, because our connection was so deep, so instant.......I know deep down that without Mia, we wouldn't be together now.

I need to give my head a wobble. Currently I have no reason to be feeling so insecure, life with Jack has been amazing since we got back together.
It's just the fear of something so big about to him, to us, getting to me.