The Own Goal ✔️

Part 38

I get up with Jack and eat breakfast with him.

He's more himself this morning. He practically went to bed as soon as we got home yesterday evening.

Avoiding me.

I did notice when I went to bed that he was wearing a t-shirt, which he never ever does.
He either wears just his pants to bed, or he sleeps totally naked, depending on if we've had sex or not.
I've never seen him wear a t-shirt to bed.

I could also tell by his breathing that he was only pretending to be asleep when I entered the room to go to bed myself.
Especially when I purposefully made enough noise to have woken him had he been really sleeping.

But this morning he's bright and breezy, he made sure to get dressed in the dressing room so that I didn't see his arm again though.

I smile as he kisses me on the cheek and disapears off to training, wishing him a good day and calling out to each other that we'll see the other later.

Immediately after the door closes, I pick up the phone to ask if I can go around.

An hour later and I'm back at the Grealish's, sitting at the kitchen table with Karen.
The house is so quiet with everyone else at work, school or college.

I leave Mia with Karen and go straight  upstairs to retrieve the shirt that I had hidden back in Jacks old room yesterday.

Karen looks at me curiously when I reappear holding it.

"I found this in your washing basket yesterday" I say handing it over.

"It's Jacks isn't it? He was wearing it after the match on Saturday? It's ok pet, I would have just chucked it in the wash with our bits"

"I think" I slow down to steady my voice "I think, that's what he wanted to happen. Look at it Karen"

I watch her open up the shirt and hold it up, she immediately puts her head in her hands.

She's Jacks mum, I get the impression this isnt a new sight to her. Or a total shock.

"Oh Chelsea. I'm sorry"

"You don't need to be sorry!" I exclaim,
"I think it's Stacey again" I say shakily.

"Probably" Karen nods.

"So why Karen? Does he love her or what? Because he keeps telling me he doesn't have feelings for her but, it's always her isn't it? And I know it's ridiculous, because I know he lied to me about her before but still.....!"

Karen looks exasperated "I don't know. I've had her sat here in tears enough times over him too over the years Chelsea, I don't know what goes on in his head, he just........well he doesn't think with his head does he....."

"No he does not!" I snap.

"The thing is he really loves you Chelsea, he really really does"

I shake my head. "No Karen, he doesn't, if he did he wouldn't keep shagging his ex"

"It might not have been sex......"

"Oh please Karen! I know he's your son, but I think that shirt proves she got closer to him than just a friendly drink? Plus, he's covered in bloody scratches! Deep nail marks from his shoulder to his elbow, he said he fell into a bush, but he won't let me see.....he wore a t-shirt to bed last night and made sure I didn't see him get dressed this morning"

She sighs deeply. "He does love you pet, and Mia"

And that's it. As she says those words, in my mind's eye I see an image of a tight string of glass beads.

He does love you pet
The string snaps.......

And Mia
And all the glass beads fall to the floor and smash.

"He doesn't love me Karen. He likes me. He maybe wants to love me, but he doesn't. He loves Mia and he hates the thought of not having her near"

I watch Karen as she looks over at her granddaughter. She looks devastated, but she knows I'm right.

I reach out for her arm.
"He won't lose Mia, I promise, none of you will........but he's lost me, I think it's time I went back to Manchester"

She seems to spring back to life.

"No, not now, not this week. Please do not leave him before the game Chelsea, please don't even have this out with him" she holds up the shirt as she says this. "Everything rides on this game, please I beg you to not break his heart before the game Chelsea"

I can't stop the hoarse laugh that comes out of my mouth "I can't break his heart if he doesn't love me!"

"No, but I genuinely think he thinks he does, and the thought of you taking that little girl away to Manchester, leaving him with, what? Weekends? Every other weekend depending on if he's playing home or away? Please I beg you pet, don't do that to him before the game!" She looks desperate "because if you break him this week, and the game doesn't go well, then I tell you now, we'll never put him back together!"

"What's the difference between me leaving now and them losing, or they lose and then I leave him? And we don't know if they will win or lose!?" I'm beyond frazzled with this now.

"All the time he has you and Mia he thinks he's invincible - his winning streak, it's his bloody boots, it's you and Mia watching the games! To him it matters!"

"You're literally asking me to go back and play happy families with him, when as far as I know he spent most of Saturday night in Stacey's bed?"

But, as stupid as it sounds, I get it. I do, and at the end of the day, I'm leaving him into a house he bloody bought, knowing full well he will continue to provide for whatever Mia needs.

I nod, and then I'm crying, and she's crying and we're hugging, and both sobbing.

She pulls back "would you give him another chance? Like I said, it might not have been sex?"

"Karen are you actually serious? Imagine I was Kiera or Holly? Honestly, if I was them and they were standing here telling you this about their boyfriend, what would you say?"

"I'd tell them to run for the bloody hills!"

I stare up at her, and she gets it. Silently she nods at me.