PERFECT LIE (COMPLETE)

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN (About Riel)

I think a lot of us can relate to not choosing to face a painful memory, and something that's a painful a past, and wanting to pretend like it never happened. - Derek Magyar

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Meara

Nanlaki ang mata ko sa narinig na sinabi ni Riel.

"What? You did what?"

Parang wala lang sa kanya ang sinabi niya. "I knew someone who beat a woman and I killed him."

Napaawang ang bibig ko. Marami akong gustong itanong. Nakapatay na siya? Well, he was a police officer and he can legally do that. Pero nakakagulat pa rin palang makaharap ng taong nakapatay na. Pakiramdam ko ay nag-iba ang tingin ko kay Riel. Kahit ang kalmado ng hitsura niya sa harap ko, tingin ko ay kaya nga niyang gawin ang sinabi niya.

"You killed the man? But you saved the woman?" Paniniguro ko.

Sa pagkakataong iyon ay nakita kong lumungkot ang mukha niya tapos ay marahang umiling.

"I was too late."

"Oh my God." Naitakip ko ang kamay sa bibig ko. Ang totoo, nakaramdam din ako ng takot sa sinabi niya. What if ganoon ang mangyari sa akin? Paano kung huli na ang lahat bago ko maisip na iwanan si Perry? Paano kung napatay na ako? Paano na ang anak ko?

"I was thirteen when I killed that man." Nakatitig sa akin si Riel.

"What? Thirteen? What... what happened? What did you do?" Naguguluhan ako sa sinasabi niya. "You killed someone when you were thirteen?" Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang takot na nararamdaman ko. Ano na lang ang naramdaman ng nanay ni Riel nang malaman na nakagawa ng malaking kasalanan ang anak nito?

Napangiti ng mapakla si Riel at napailing. "Forget what I said."

"Come on. Tell me what happened." Ngayon pa ba niya ibibitin ang ikinukuwento niya sa akin? I was so invested to his story tapos bigla niyang hindi itutuloy.

Umiling siya. "It was not a good experience. I don't want to look back."

"Please. I insist to know what happened. Was it someone you know? What did your mother say?" Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya at nakita kong napatitig siya sa akin tapos ay sa kamay kong nakahawak sa kamay niya. Napapahiyang binawi ko iyon kasi tingin ko hindi siya naging kumportable sa ginawa ko.

"Sorry." Napabuga ako ng hangin. "I'm sorry. If you don't feel to share it, it's fine. I just thought I need to hear a story that same as mine."

Nakita kong hinawakan ni Riel ang mga kamay niya na hinawakan ko at marahang pinisil-pisil ang mga daliri. Halatang hindi na nga kumportable pero napahinga ng malalim tapos ay alanganing napangiti.

"I don't usually share my story to other people. Only two people know about the truth. The man that adopted me and my boss. And then right now, you."

Napangiti ako. "Thank you for trusting me."

"It was my stepfather." Mahinang sabi niya. "He was beating my mom. Every god damn day. I grew up to see my mother every day beaten. Black and blue. She never goes out of the house. She devoted her life to that asshole. Giving everything that he wanted but that was still not enough for him. I was growing up asking what was wrong with our family. My stepfather hated me so much." Tumatawa ng pagak si Riel pero ramdam na ramdam ko ang galit sa tono ng pananalita niya. "I asked my mother. Every day. Why she was letting that asshole hurt her? I asked her why don't we just leave. Look for my father," Nakita kong napalunok si Riel at ako naman ay nararamdaman kong nananakit ang lalamunan ko sa pagpipigil mapaiyak habang nakikinig sa sinasabi niya. In my mind, I was looking at him like he was a thirteen-year-old boy. Just like my son asking me every day why do I allow his father to hurt me.