Ambivalence || JJK ✓

Chapter 11

"Am I an innocent criminal?"

Her grip loosened. The palms were sweating excessively. She was feeling devastated and soon collapsed on her knees.

"S-she?", her voice sounded almost like a low whisper, audible only to her.

Someone caused her life to take such a steep turn?

She lost her voice, her tears, her strength to stand up, to scream and to even run away.

"I know it's hard to believe but it's the truth. You saw my wife with Jungkook that day", his voice cracked as the tears purred through the corner of his almond eyes. 

Tears of deep scars. 

She could feel her heart shattering to pieces. She wolved down the pain shooting through her heart, stood up and crawled closer to him, "W-What did you s-say?"

"She was the-"

"NO! AFTER THAT! WHO IS SHE TO YOU?!" Her voice echoed over the silent land. A single tear rolled down her cheek and fell on her trembling palm.

"My wife", he sighed and pushed back his hair, the sweat was damping his forehead. 

"She passed away three years ago", he turned away from her, chewing on the lower lip and continued, "It's our 10th Anniversary today."

"I am so sorry", she wrapped her hands tightly around his torso, catching him off guard. He could feel the dam of his emotions was on the verge of breaking apart. But he returned back the hug.

"Cry", his eyebrows twitched, and he tried to break the hug but she tightened it more, "I know you are going through a lot. Cry Hoseok, you need it." His vision blurred and finally the things he had been holding back to himself came out in the form of tears and painful whimpers. She cried along. She knew she needed to eventually.

They stood there in the same position for what felt like ages and cried in each other's embrace. Her fingers held hims closer to her heart, trying their best to sooth away his pain. With every tear that fell on her shoulder she could feel the intensity of his pain.

The sudden pouring made them let go off each other and she passed to him a warm smile, "Let's go back home Hoseok, you are burning."

"What?! No! You need to know the truth -"

"You are important to me just like Jungkook. I know you are not okay and revisiting the past would make you more uncomfortable. I can wait. We'll talk about this tomorrow, okay?"

~

She pulled the zipper down as the dress gently fell off her shoulders, on the ground, leaving her in her undergarments. She walked up to the shower, turned it on, and stepped under it.

The water droplets fell on her head and slowly trailed down from the forehead to the perfectly carved neck as she felt the urge to cry along.

It feels like a sad rain.

Gulping the lump she moved her larynx in a perfect synchronization with the running water and pushed the hair back moving her fingers through them, "My life is such a mess."

The frustration was rising up in her heart and she punched the tiled wall not caring about hurting herself.

She threw her feet on the water and collapsed on her knees, sinking deeper in pain and agony.

Everytime she felt unworthy, a warm shower was her favorite destination but today it was more like a prision than pleasure. 

She was missing him.