Ambivalence || JJK ✓

Chapter 19

"Do you really have to leave me?"

"Doctor, please help", she begged, with red eyes, tears streaming down them. His figure was turning paler. Her heart was sinking deeper in fear and agony.

"OH MY GOD HE IS BLEEDING SO MUCH!", the nurse screamed, calling the ward boys.

She held his hand tightly, while he was being taken to the ER. "J-Jungkook stay strong. I still need y-you." Their contact broke when the nurses pushed her, forbidding her from entering, "H-He needs me", her voice was shaky. "P-Please."

Her face was pitiful to look at. She was not in her senses, "We will try our best miss."

Pulling her back and crashing her body in his arms, Hoseok stroked her hair gently, resting his chin on her head, "H-Hoseok I am so worried for him." He sighed and closed his eyes as she continued to sob in his embrace, "Shh.. he'll be okay. Don't cry. Your son needs you. Jungkook needs you. Stay strong for them hmm?"

She shook her head in denial, "N-No. I am responsible for all of this. He is here because of me-"

He turned her around, staring in her red eyes, with a frown, "Why? Why do you blame yourself for everything? WHY?!"

She flinched, as the tears rolled down again, "Y-Y/N". His own voice stuttered, seeing her state. She was suffering alot, all alone.

~

"Are you Mr. Jeon's relative?" The doctor called out, catching the attention of the two tired people.

"Y-Yes", she jolted up from her seat and sprinted towards the white coat man. He fixed his glasses and coat before taking a deep breath. "He has high fever and after running some tests on him we have found excessive liquor intake in his blood. He has taken excessive anti depressants."

She shivered, the blood in her body turning cold. Her sink tingled as she felt her friend pressing his warm hand over hers, "Is he o-okay?" Her voice came out like a whisper. Only she knew how much damaged she had caused.

"He is in danger. We can't say anything. His state is getting worse."

She sat down with a thud, her heart squeezing in pain. The eyes were numb yet filled with painful tears. She lost so much just to seek a revenge. "He-He is depressed", Hoseok crashed her in his embrace. She was not in her senses, "He is d-dying because of m-me", his hold tighten, he could see himself in her.

"I am killing another-"

"No. No you are not killing anybody. You haven't killed anybody. He is a fighter. He is gonna be okay-"

"How? How is he gonna be when I am the cause for this? Why am I so cruel? Why?"

"S-Stop Y/N, you are hurting yourself-"

"I have hurt him more. My pain is nothing in front of his."

~

"Dad-Mom, you here?", she whispered, seeing her parents walking closer to her. As the breeze hit her face, she stepped back until the back hit the railings of the bridge, "S-Sunhyun, you too?" She was feeling so small, just wanting to dig a hole and hide forever.

"Did you forget me so soon?" The color from her face drained as she recognized the sarcasm. It was her ex-boyfriend. Everybody turned to face him, even she herself. "M-Minsuk?", she whispered, tears pooling her eyes. The same guy she had imagined a future with.

"Why are you still alive Y/N?", she shook her head, crying bitterly. "After hurting Jungkook so much? After hurting your family so much? AFTER HURTING ME SO MUCH?!" He walked dangerously closer to her, his aura darkening, eyes turning red, veins popping out from his neck.

"S-Stay away from m-me", she sounded muke and weak, with no one to listen to her pleas. "WHAT DID YOU GET AFTER BREAKING MY HEART?! WHY DID YOU HURT ME?!"

"All I did was being possessive of you sweetheart", he smiled creepily, caressing her cheeks, with eyes filled with tears. "Your freedom mattered more that my love huh?"

"Minsuk p-please stop else-"

"ELSE WHAT?! WHAT WILL YOU DO? WHOM WILL YOU CALL? THAT JUNGKOOK? WHO IS FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE?!"

"Look at yourself sweetheart", he smirked, tightening his grip on her cheeks, "LOOK AT HOW YOU COULDN'T EVEN LOVE YOUR OWN HUSBAND. LOOK AT HOW YOU ARE KILLING HIM. LOOK AT HOW MUCH OF A GOLD DIGGER YOU ARE!"

"NO!", she screamed, pushing him away. "I LOVE HIM, I AM NOT A GOLD DIGG-"

*SLAP*

"He is right!" Gripping the fistful of her hair tightly, her father pinned her against a nearby tree, tears leaving the corner of her eyes.

"D-Dad, why are you s-saying like this? You k-know I am not a gold digger!", she screamed, pushing him harshly, her chest moved up and down heavily as he stumbled back.

*SLAP*

"How dare you push my husband?", her mother bellowed as her eyes became more teary.

"M-Mom-", she cut her off, "Shut up you gold digger. We trusted you so much and this is what we got, huh? You, yes you, killed your brother. You were jealous that we loved him. He died just because of you and...now after using Jungkook's money you left him, huh? He is in this state just because of you!"

"No I love-"

"This is what love is, huh? You did not even think of your son? I hate myself for calling you my best friend. It would be better that you die. You are unwanted after all", Sunhyun glared at her, tears brimming her own eyes. Her hands fisted tightly, nails digging her skin.

"It's over Y/N", they said in unison, turning their back to her. It was a waste to ask them to stay. She knew it very well. She destroyed everything on her own. She fell down on her knees, staring at their disappearing figures with devastated eyes, "D-Don't leave me." Her voice was like a whisper in the silent dark night. She was left all alone, hopeless and broken. Rotting in her own mistakes. Seeing her life falling apart in front of her own eyes. Yet she failed to make any efforts to fix it.

My love for him was never a lie.

She looked up at the sky and gazed at the moon, the clouds dancing around it, shining peacefully. "No one w-wants me in their life. It hurts so much. Everything h-hurts so much. I lost him. I lost us. I lost everything."

She closed her eyes, letting the tears to fall. She could feel how empty her life was. How empty she was. He was her strength, her weakness. Her love, her hate. Her heaven, her hell. She sobbed, loudly. Her fingers had no strength to wipe her own tears. This time he was not there to wipe them for her.

Her phone rang, breaking the silence of the horrifying night. She answered with a hoarse voice, "Miss Y/N?" Fear ran down her spine, the call was from the hospital.

"Come to the hospital fast. We are sorry but...", her eyes squinted, brows frowned. She licked her chapped lips and ran her fingers down her hair, "But what?"

"...We couldn't save Mr. Jeon."