Ambivalence || JJK ✓

Chapter 45

"Sometimes some heartbreaks need nothing but just silent tears."

JUNGKOOK'S POV

Gulping in the third glass of alcohol, he winced at the blur image his heart had started to form.

It was her. All again. Every time. Every breath.

No matter now much he tried, it still hurt him where it shouldn't be hurting.

He heaved a sigh, the throat felt heavy, as if was gulping rocks. 

The laughs, the cries, the long walks, the late-night coffees, the early morning hugs, but he wasn't a part of anything. She was with someone else, every time, everywhere. Why? Why can't he still get over it?

The guy made him feel so small, like a loser. 

He wasn't perfect, he knew that, but that guy made him feel it. Now he was thrown off the throne, lying on the bed of thorns, letting them pierce through his heart, once again. The scars became fresh once again, and the giver was again the same. 

He loved her. He hated her. He couldn't bring himself to love her without that hate.

A tear rolled down his cheek, as he continued to stare in space, recalling the memories. Those memories hurt him, but did it matter? No.

His grip over the glass tightened as he saw a girl striding towards him, with sexy legs, the red dress exposed her curves so well. She smiled at him, it looked alluring. But he couldn't. She stood close to him, her hands slowly coiled around his neck, and she slipped in his lap. 

He sighed, the anger gushed through his veins, racing towards his eyes as he pushed her hard. His eyes were bloodshot red, firstly due to alcohol and secondly due to the anger. His inhaled a deep breath, trying to calm the anger that was dancing on the tip of his nose. His licked his lips, sucking his piercing and placed the glass on the counter, "Don't." His voice was cold, laced with anger, yet he tried to keep his cool.

She smirked, walking closer to him, her hands coiled around his torso, and she pulled him in a kiss.

That was it. He forgot himself and pushed her away, staring at her with fierce eyes, boring daggers in her soul. He bit his lips, pushed back his hair and held her by her neck, "HOW DARE YOU?! HOW DARE YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME WHEN I CLEARLY SAID TO STAY AWAY! HOW?! DO YOU NOT LOVE YOUR LIFE?! DO YOU NOT-"

He stumbled on his feet as the manager pulled him away. He looked like a devil. His breathing was heavy as if he will kill everybody. The girl was on her knees, struggling to breathe, regretting her decision, "FUCKING WHORE!" 

He passed to her a last glare before walking out. 

The corridors were silent, just like his life. He was angry. So angry that soon that anger raced down his cheeks in the form of ugly tears.

Y/N's POV

She sat at the edge of the bed, her hands placed on her chest, trembling in fear and pain. The eyes were brimming with tears, and she was wiping them every second, not wanting to cry. She knew she will lose her mind; he was overtaking her heart. Her lips puckered as she tried her best to hold back herself from crying. But she failed miserably, letting those tears fall, pooling on the silk sheets, damping the cheeks wet.

Her heart was burning, she stood up and minced towards the closet, pulled out his blazer and hugged it tightly, trying to feel his warmth.

The hatred she wanted to build up for him, to forget him, evaporated once she saw that beautiful face. 

The pleasures his sight brought to her, and her heart was a serendipity. 

How good it felt that day to be near him, in his embrace, so close to him, being able to hear that heart beating once again.